Greetings, Internet Land! And Happy New Year's Eve! Tonight I will hopefully be having fun partying the New Year in with good friends and lots of strangers. In a New Years tradition of sorts (partly in preparation for the inevitable Resolutions) I am contemplating how 2008 has treated me.
-I started this blog at the beginning of the year. At the start, it was meant to be some sort of creative outlet, and has since turned into my ranting about the world at large. I think 2009 will bring further attempts to document the sometimes hilarious banalities of my life. And of course more arguing with my brain and credit cards. Twitter shall be its trusty sidekick.
-I was/am/will be bored at work. Gchat became a necessity.
-On the other hand, I made some great new friends.
-I watched lots of TV and movies and remembered the joys of my youth. I also read books of varying levels of quality, and still enjoy ranting about them. Vampire fiction should never be taken lightly.
-I got cats! They now run my life and I am completely beholden to satisfy their various whims. Surprisingly, I am just fine with this.
-I've joined a gym and had an on-again, off-again abusive relationship with a personal trainer. Joel has since left the gym (without telling us). I feel betrayed.
-I've cooked some: most impressive achievement was a souffle that didn't fall. Okay, it was a little undercooked in the center, but overall a fine achievement for a first try.
-I started playing my very first MMO. No, not WOW. I stopped playing for many months. Recently, I've started back up again.
-I got a new computer. There was much rejoicing.
-I started writing a book. Well, kind of. I got about 30 pages in and just stopped. The ideas are still flowing through my head, and every now and then I'll figure some plot point out when I'm waiting for the bus. It's there, just waiting for me on my flash drive. I can't hide forever.
-I drank lots of coffee. Currently, more addicted than ever.
-I went to NY for the very first time! There was much rejoicing.
-And lots of Bin 36.
-I discovered the excessively violent fun of Roller Derby.
-I ignored responsibilities, overdrew my bank account lots, mourned the loss of spontaneity, and refused to set my future up. But most importantly, I've had fun.
Now what?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Look On My Works Ye Mighty And Despair!
Disclaimer: This entry is disgusting. For those of you do not want to hear about the tainted lungs and natural, um, issues of a sickly person, please don't read any further. Watch the linked youtube video below or something. I'll be sure to have a less unpleasant post later on about, like, panic in buying people Christmas gifts (I've bought 1! And I don't even know if it's really going to be for him!). You have been warned.
Okay, so y'all know that when I got back from NY, my body basically had had enough of this crap and completely broke down on me. I spent most of the weekend in bed, a sadsack unable to buy groceries, being tended to by the cats. And by tended to, I mean forced to play with the needy ones.
So, I finally began feeling better around Monday, aside from a death cough, which pleased the coworkers around me I'm sure. But now, even that's mostly gone away and I'm a pretty presentable person. Well, as presentable as I normally am.
This was very exciting news, because yes(!), I can finally work out again! I hadn't worked out since that disastrous Thanksgiving run, where my lungs decided to stop working on me and I couldn't finish. Not that I'd been working out as steadily as I would've liked before then. That's another story. Anyway, now I had no more excuses. My legs were ready, my lungs kind of ready, but most importantly, my mind was ready. I was going to run.
I hadn't been coughing so much, so I didn't think it was an issue. I had a decent dinner beforehand, and waited the usual amount of time before heading down to the building's (thankfully empty) weight room (timed during a commercial break of Top Chef) to watch the rest of the episode while running.
Everything was going great. I was well-hydrated and off to a great start. Ariane just won the Elimination Challenge (aside: who else thought it was hilarious that Padma tried to pretend that she and Gail really are BFF outside of the show?) much to the displeasure of Jamie and I was now running at around a 6 mph pace. Cool.
In order for me to think that any running cardio workout is actually worthwhile, I've gotten to the point where I have to run at least 5 minutes (normally 10) on 6.5 mph. This is a holdover from FBI training days (something I have been inching back towards these days) when 6.5 was the minimum pace for passing the 2 mile run part of the physical fitness test. So I put it on 6.5 and for about 2.5 minutes, it went really well.
Then it happened--my mouth began getting abnormally dry and my lungs started to feel weird. They didn't really hurt like running outside in NY, but something unnatural was happening in there. I realized that I needed to cough, and specifically needed to cough something, um, up. Now, I'm in the weight room in my building, so I can't really spit on the floor, but I really really want to finish my workout. At this point, I know that I can't run longer than 5 minutes on 6.5, and should be glad to finish even that. After those five minutes, I started cooling down and taking the speed on the treadmill back down in intervals. Then I began coughing and it was horrible.
Now I really needed to spit, but I still had five minutes left on my workout, and I was going to finish dammit. So I hold it. It's only five minutes right? Then, after 2 minutes of agony, I begin to cough again. I HAD NO CHOICE. I spit into my hand. So there I was, cooling down while holding my left hand as far away from me and the treadmill as possible. I could still make it and then go wash my hand in the small bathroom attached to the weight room. I could do it. Two minutes, I have two minutes now.
Then the most horrible combination of events happened simultaneously. I was racked with another set of awful coughs as I once more lowered the speed on the treadmill awkwardly with my right hand, an act which caused me to stumble over my feet a little. The combination of all of these things led to one of the most cartoonish moments of my life: I nearly tripped over my feet and instinctively grabbed onto the treadmill WITH BOTH HANDS, and, um, naturally my left hand slips and I pretty much fall on the treadmill. Luckily the treadmill goes off immediately, lest it kill me with the tread. Now uncontrollably coughing, I make my way to the bathroom to get paper towels to try to clean off as much as I can.
I really hope the landlady didn't see it on the surveillance cameras--there's a 75% chance that she was watching one of her weird soap operas instead of the security feed anyway. But still. Worst gym experience ever. Before then I was going to do sit ups as well, but instead I just drank lots of water and slunk back to my apartment. It was such a humiliating experience that I was glad to be working out alone. So naturally I had to share it with all of you.
Maybe there is something to this whole "running outside" thing. Hmm.
Okay, so y'all know that when I got back from NY, my body basically had had enough of this crap and completely broke down on me. I spent most of the weekend in bed, a sadsack unable to buy groceries, being tended to by the cats. And by tended to, I mean forced to play with the needy ones.
So, I finally began feeling better around Monday, aside from a death cough, which pleased the coworkers around me I'm sure. But now, even that's mostly gone away and I'm a pretty presentable person. Well, as presentable as I normally am.
This was very exciting news, because yes(!), I can finally work out again! I hadn't worked out since that disastrous Thanksgiving run, where my lungs decided to stop working on me and I couldn't finish. Not that I'd been working out as steadily as I would've liked before then. That's another story. Anyway, now I had no more excuses. My legs were ready, my lungs kind of ready, but most importantly, my mind was ready. I was going to run.
I hadn't been coughing so much, so I didn't think it was an issue. I had a decent dinner beforehand, and waited the usual amount of time before heading down to the building's (thankfully empty) weight room (timed during a commercial break of Top Chef) to watch the rest of the episode while running.
Everything was going great. I was well-hydrated and off to a great start. Ariane just won the Elimination Challenge (aside: who else thought it was hilarious that Padma tried to pretend that she and Gail really are BFF outside of the show?) much to the displeasure of Jamie and I was now running at around a 6 mph pace. Cool.
In order for me to think that any running cardio workout is actually worthwhile, I've gotten to the point where I have to run at least 5 minutes (normally 10) on 6.5 mph. This is a holdover from FBI training days (something I have been inching back towards these days) when 6.5 was the minimum pace for passing the 2 mile run part of the physical fitness test. So I put it on 6.5 and for about 2.5 minutes, it went really well.
Then it happened--my mouth began getting abnormally dry and my lungs started to feel weird. They didn't really hurt like running outside in NY, but something unnatural was happening in there. I realized that I needed to cough, and specifically needed to cough something, um, up. Now, I'm in the weight room in my building, so I can't really spit on the floor, but I really really want to finish my workout. At this point, I know that I can't run longer than 5 minutes on 6.5, and should be glad to finish even that. After those five minutes, I started cooling down and taking the speed on the treadmill back down in intervals. Then I began coughing and it was horrible.
Now I really needed to spit, but I still had five minutes left on my workout, and I was going to finish dammit. So I hold it. It's only five minutes right? Then, after 2 minutes of agony, I begin to cough again. I HAD NO CHOICE. I spit into my hand. So there I was, cooling down while holding my left hand as far away from me and the treadmill as possible. I could still make it and then go wash my hand in the small bathroom attached to the weight room. I could do it. Two minutes, I have two minutes now.
Then the most horrible combination of events happened simultaneously. I was racked with another set of awful coughs as I once more lowered the speed on the treadmill awkwardly with my right hand, an act which caused me to stumble over my feet a little. The combination of all of these things led to one of the most cartoonish moments of my life: I nearly tripped over my feet and instinctively grabbed onto the treadmill WITH BOTH HANDS, and, um, naturally my left hand slips and I pretty much fall on the treadmill. Luckily the treadmill goes off immediately, lest it kill me with the tread. Now uncontrollably coughing, I make my way to the bathroom to get paper towels to try to clean off as much as I can.
I really hope the landlady didn't see it on the surveillance cameras--there's a 75% chance that she was watching one of her weird soap operas instead of the security feed anyway. But still. Worst gym experience ever. Before then I was going to do sit ups as well, but instead I just drank lots of water and slunk back to my apartment. It was such a humiliating experience that I was glad to be working out alone. So naturally I had to share it with all of you.
Maybe there is something to this whole "running outside" thing. Hmm.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Hi
I don't really have anything important to say, except I saw this ad on Youtube and wanted to share its glory.
Anything that effectively uses, but also lampoons the use of the O Fortuna part of Carmina Burana is okay by me. I mean, who doesn't get excited when movie trailers use exciting Latin chanting to promote the (action packed fighting) sequences? For anyone that questions my choice to take 8 years of Latin in my life, remember: Life just ain't epic without Latin.
Anything that effectively uses, but also lampoons the use of the O Fortuna part of Carmina Burana is okay by me. I mean, who doesn't get excited when movie trailers use exciting Latin chanting to promote the (action packed fighting) sequences? For anyone that questions my choice to take 8 years of Latin in my life, remember: Life just ain't epic without Latin.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Cristina Gets Meta...Again
I am going to NY with Laura and Alex! This is very exciting, of course, but I still need to tie up some loose threads. Here we go.
Me: Yay, I finally know what I'm going to do with you guys when I leave!
Gus and Nubs: What do you mean? Where are you going?
Me: Oh, nowhere. Um, look, I bought y'all new mice to play with!
Gus: Stop avoiding the question--where are you going?
Me: Okay, okay, going to NY for a week. BUT, I got y'all a friend for the week. His name is Oscar and he sounds like a very nice man. He'll feed and water you and play with you and change your litter. It'll be like me, except, um, not.
Nubs: Oh, I'm going to get in so much trouble.
Me: Hmm, okay I'll tell Oscar to watch out for you.
Nubs: But look at me! Aren't I cute? Watch me run around on three legs!
Me: Aww.
Gus: I can't believe that worked. What about me? I'm not going to come out from under the bed for a week when you come back.
Me: I'll teach him the tricks of treats and laser pointer. I think you'll be okay.
Gus: But, but, but...
Me: Oh suck it up. So you don't get to play with my feet for a few days--you'll survive.
Gus: How come that one gets all the attention? I don't cause nearly as much trouble as she does.
Me: Hey! You disemboweled my bed to make yourself a cave! You're not getting off that easy. Plus Nubs can't really get in trouble too much. I mean, it's not like she's going to get into the shower while the water is running and run around the apartment AGAIN. I mean, it's not like Oscar is going to be showering here. Right?
Gus:...
Nubs:...
Me: Okay, I'm 80% sure that's not going to happen. Oscar will make sure that all your little toys are always brought out of the nooks and crannies you inevitably put them in, which I don't even do all the time.
Gus: All right, have a good time!
Nubs: Have fun! Take lots of pictures!
Mastercard: Ahem, have you forgotten about me?
Me: Oh crap. Hi.
Mastercard: Do I need to set a budget?
Me: No, no. I've got this one under control. I think.
Mastercard: Do you think, or DO YOU KNOW?
Me: I'm okay. I swear.
My brain: Oh New York is going to be so much fun! There's so much culture there! We can go to museums and wander around the neighborhoods and drink in the history!
My stomach: DUDE WE ARE GOING TO EAT SO MUCH GOOD FOOD. I AM SO EXCITED.
Mastercard: Are you sure you have this under control? Cause, dude, I can't stop this shit.
Me: I'll be okay. I mean, I can't spend too too much, right?
Mastercard: Oh, boy.
My brain: Okay, are you going to exercise? This has become a pressing concern, since Stomach has involved itself.
Me: I'm going to try my hardest. You've gotta help me, you know! This is a project for both of us.
My brain: I'll see what I can do, but you're the one that's going to have to make your feet run.
Me: Wait, isn't that y--
My brain: God this is getting too meta. I'll bring Endocrine in to help out, though. Maybe kick the Endocrine System in to make you fidgety so you'll actually run.
Endocrine: WHOATHATISSUCHAGOODIDEA. IT'SBEENTOOLONG,REALLY. WOOWOOWOO! WOONEWYORKWOO! I! FEEL! FANTASTIC!
Adrenal Gland: I AM CONSTANTLY READY.
Me: See, it'll be easy.
My brain: I worry about you sometimes. Hopefully we'll still have a job when we get back.
Me: Oh. Right. Way to harsh my buzz, brain. AGAIN.
My brain: Want me to put a fun song in your head?
Me: Whaddya got?
My brain: I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...
Me: You bastard.
My brain: Just kidding. How about this? And I feel fantastic. And I never felt as good as how I do right now Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.
Me: Oh that's fun. I forgive you.
My brain: :)
Mastercard: Ahem.
Me: Let's be friends okay? I won't even take Macy's out; how about that?
Macy's: But, but, we'll be in New York! THIS IS NOT FAIR.
Me: Sorry, dude. MC means more to me.
Macy's: You are so not fierce.
Me: Oh yeah, Macy's, you really know how to hurt me. Will this dialogue never end?
My brain: Dude, you know this is you just talking to yourself, right?
Me: Damn you and your logic.
I am very excited about NY! I will try to twitter all throughout NY about my crazy adventures. So it will be like all my score of followers (SCORE) will know, like, when I eat a hotdog. Man, I really need this vacation.
Me: Yay, I finally know what I'm going to do with you guys when I leave!
Gus and Nubs: What do you mean? Where are you going?
Me: Oh, nowhere. Um, look, I bought y'all new mice to play with!
Gus: Stop avoiding the question--where are you going?
Me: Okay, okay, going to NY for a week. BUT, I got y'all a friend for the week. His name is Oscar and he sounds like a very nice man. He'll feed and water you and play with you and change your litter. It'll be like me, except, um, not.
Nubs: Oh, I'm going to get in so much trouble.
Me: Hmm, okay I'll tell Oscar to watch out for you.
Nubs: But look at me! Aren't I cute? Watch me run around on three legs!
Me: Aww.
Gus: I can't believe that worked. What about me? I'm not going to come out from under the bed for a week when you come back.
Me: I'll teach him the tricks of treats and laser pointer. I think you'll be okay.
Gus: But, but, but...
Me: Oh suck it up. So you don't get to play with my feet for a few days--you'll survive.
Gus: How come that one gets all the attention? I don't cause nearly as much trouble as she does.
Me: Hey! You disemboweled my bed to make yourself a cave! You're not getting off that easy. Plus Nubs can't really get in trouble too much. I mean, it's not like she's going to get into the shower while the water is running and run around the apartment AGAIN. I mean, it's not like Oscar is going to be showering here. Right?
Gus:...
Nubs:...
Me: Okay, I'm 80% sure that's not going to happen. Oscar will make sure that all your little toys are always brought out of the nooks and crannies you inevitably put them in, which I don't even do all the time.
Gus: All right, have a good time!
Nubs: Have fun! Take lots of pictures!
Mastercard: Ahem, have you forgotten about me?
Me: Oh crap. Hi.
Mastercard: Do I need to set a budget?
Me: No, no. I've got this one under control. I think.
Mastercard: Do you think, or DO YOU KNOW?
Me: I'm okay. I swear.
My brain: Oh New York is going to be so much fun! There's so much culture there! We can go to museums and wander around the neighborhoods and drink in the history!
My stomach: DUDE WE ARE GOING TO EAT SO MUCH GOOD FOOD. I AM SO EXCITED.
Mastercard: Are you sure you have this under control? Cause, dude, I can't stop this shit.
Me: I'll be okay. I mean, I can't spend too too much, right?
Mastercard: Oh, boy.
My brain: Okay, are you going to exercise? This has become a pressing concern, since Stomach has involved itself.
Me: I'm going to try my hardest. You've gotta help me, you know! This is a project for both of us.
My brain: I'll see what I can do, but you're the one that's going to have to make your feet run.
Me: Wait, isn't that y--
My brain: God this is getting too meta. I'll bring Endocrine in to help out, though. Maybe kick the Endocrine System in to make you fidgety so you'll actually run.
Endocrine: WHOATHATISSUCHAGOODIDEA. IT'SBEENTOOLONG,REALLY. WOOWOOWOO! WOONEWYORKWOO! I! FEEL! FANTASTIC!
Adrenal Gland: I AM CONSTANTLY READY.
Me: See, it'll be easy.
My brain: I worry about you sometimes. Hopefully we'll still have a job when we get back.
Me: Oh. Right. Way to harsh my buzz, brain. AGAIN.
My brain: Want me to put a fun song in your head?
Me: Whaddya got?
My brain: I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...
Me: You bastard.
My brain: Just kidding. How about this? And I feel fantastic. And I never felt as good as how I do right now Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.
Me: Oh that's fun. I forgive you.
My brain: :)
Mastercard: Ahem.
Me: Let's be friends okay? I won't even take Macy's out; how about that?
Macy's: But, but, we'll be in New York! THIS IS NOT FAIR.
Me: Sorry, dude. MC means more to me.
Macy's: You are so not fierce.
Me: Oh yeah, Macy's, you really know how to hurt me. Will this dialogue never end?
My brain: Dude, you know this is you just talking to yourself, right?
Me: Damn you and your logic.
I am very excited about NY! I will try to twitter all throughout NY about my crazy adventures. So it will be like all my score of followers (SCORE) will know, like, when I eat a hotdog. Man, I really need this vacation.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Argument...The Meme Told Me To
Since I'm avoiding cleaning/going to the gym/calling people/making split pea soup, I was cruising random strangers' livejournals (yes, I'm creepy; I know), and came across one of these games. I decided to play, now that I have a shiny blog to do it on and am currently avoiding any kind of responsibility. So y'all are just going to have to bear with me.
RULES:1. Put Your iTunes/Windows Media Player/ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.
1) If someone says, "Is this okay?" you say:
"Creepy Doll" [I'm apparently not very helpful. Or just really paranoid. Probably both.]
2) How would you describe yourself?
"Telescope Eyes" [HEY! My glasses are not that thick! Gee, thanks iTunes]
3) What do you like in a girl/guy?
"Parade" [This could mean one of many things...take your pick]
4) How do you feel today?
"Another Girl, Another Planet" [hmm...]
5) What is your life's purpose?
"This District Sleeps Alone Tonight" [I don't know how to feel about that]
6) What is your motto?
"Stupid Girls" [I'm kind of an asshole]
7) What do you friends think of you?
"Livin' on a Prayer" [I really wouldn't doubt it]
8) What do you think of your parents?
"I Guess You're Right" [Begrudgingly, yes]
9) What do you think about very often?
"Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" [Hey, remember that time that the power went out in my building and I was stuck in my apartment with no water or power? Good times.]
10) What is 2+2?
"Marvelous Things" [What? Doesn't 4 give anyone else a warm and fuzzy feeling?]
11) What do you think of your best friend?
"Temptation" [First of all: HA! Second: "best friend?" I guess this was originally made for tweens. Third, um, watch out "best friend!"
12) What do you think of the person you like?
"Rebellion (Lies)" [Am I bitter? Also, lots of Arcade Fire here, iTunes. Look into that.]
13) What is your life story?
"My Evil Plan to Save the World" [YES! AMAZING! THIS THING IS PSYCHIC. So, seriously, WATCH OUT "best friend"]
14) What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Whole Wide World" [Oh my, I'm ambitious]
15) What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"Une Annee Sans Lumiere" [d'aww]
16) What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Mr. Brightside" [What will my future husband think! Also, why do I own this song?]
17) What will they play at your funeral?
"Up the Spout" [I really don't want to picture what the scenario could possibly be]
18) What is your hobby/interest?
"I Need Some Sleep" [HAHA, yeah that's about right]
19) What is your biggest fear?
"Penny's Song" [I mean, I guess she died in the end.]
20) What is your biggest secret?
"Bad Day" [This is no secret]
21) What do you think of your friends?
"Sleep (Instumental)" [Okay, okay I get it. I'm narcoleptic]
22) What song would you play during your first time having sex?
"All I Want is You" [Hilarious question, but aww nonetheless]
23) What will you post this as?
"Argument" [I have no self-satisfied response to this. Damn.]
I actually own more music than iTunes tells me I do. Really. Maybe I do need better songs.
RULES:1. Put Your iTunes/Windows Media Player/ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.
1) If someone says, "Is this okay?" you say:
"Creepy Doll" [I'm apparently not very helpful. Or just really paranoid. Probably both.]
2) How would you describe yourself?
"Telescope Eyes" [HEY! My glasses are not that thick! Gee, thanks iTunes]
3) What do you like in a girl/guy?
"Parade" [This could mean one of many things...take your pick]
4) How do you feel today?
"Another Girl, Another Planet" [hmm...]
5) What is your life's purpose?
"This District Sleeps Alone Tonight" [I don't know how to feel about that]
6) What is your motto?
"Stupid Girls" [I'm kind of an asshole]
7) What do you friends think of you?
"Livin' on a Prayer" [I really wouldn't doubt it]
8) What do you think of your parents?
"I Guess You're Right" [Begrudgingly, yes]
9) What do you think about very often?
"Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" [Hey, remember that time that the power went out in my building and I was stuck in my apartment with no water or power? Good times.]
10) What is 2+2?
"Marvelous Things" [What? Doesn't 4 give anyone else a warm and fuzzy feeling?]
11) What do you think of your best friend?
"Temptation" [First of all: HA! Second: "best friend?" I guess this was originally made for tweens. Third, um, watch out "best friend!"
12) What do you think of the person you like?
"Rebellion (Lies)" [Am I bitter? Also, lots of Arcade Fire here, iTunes. Look into that.]
13) What is your life story?
"My Evil Plan to Save the World" [YES! AMAZING! THIS THING IS PSYCHIC. So, seriously, WATCH OUT "best friend"]
14) What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Whole Wide World" [Oh my, I'm ambitious]
15) What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"Une Annee Sans Lumiere" [d'aww]
16) What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Mr. Brightside" [What will my future husband think! Also, why do I own this song?]
17) What will they play at your funeral?
"Up the Spout" [I really don't want to picture what the scenario could possibly be]
18) What is your hobby/interest?
"I Need Some Sleep" [HAHA, yeah that's about right]
19) What is your biggest fear?
"Penny's Song" [I mean, I guess she died in the end.]
20) What is your biggest secret?
"Bad Day" [This is no secret]
21) What do you think of your friends?
"Sleep (Instumental)" [Okay, okay I get it. I'm narcoleptic]
22) What song would you play during your first time having sex?
"All I Want is You" [Hilarious question, but aww nonetheless]
23) What will you post this as?
"Argument" [I have no self-satisfied response to this. Damn.]
I actually own more music than iTunes tells me I do. Really. Maybe I do need better songs.
Friday, November 21, 2008
An Interlude
Omigod, I just figured out how to embed youtube videos in my blog posts, and I feel like such an idiot now. They're digging in the wrong place! (for a gratuitous nerdy reference). I just wanted to share this because people sometimes wonder what my deal is with things that have a predominantly teen girl following. While the fandom in question attracts many different breeds of viewer, this sample is very specific. Observe:
Case closed!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Rules to Kill By
Hey guys, so I just wanted to share a bit of my story with y'all. This is what I've been writing for the past couple of days, and it was the funnest thing EVER. Funnest. Totally. I was a little hesitant about posting this online, because there are SPIES EVERYWHERE just waiting to steal my ideas. But whatever, this may not even make it into the book, but certainly helped me craft not only the tone I wanted, but also lay some groundwork for one of the most important aspects of the story: The Conclave of Criminal Masterminds. They also call themsevles the Neo-Anti-Federalists, because they're pretentious. Think of it as a mix between a trade union and a mafia family. They are one of the campier things about the story, and I feel good about how I'm presenting them. So, here are the rules of their organization:
Rules of the Conclave
1. Potential Neo-Anti-Federalists must have at least $100,000 in assets solely devoted to criminal empire-building; these assets must be regularly audited by the Internal Affairs minions, in order to preserve the Conclave’s high expectations of criminality.
2. To be considered a ranking member of the Conclave, a rising Criminal Mastermind must be in possession of at least five of the following:
a. Loyal Henchman, with at least fifty documented hours of plundering/torture/mayhem accrued specifically for potential Mastermind’s cause.
b. Mad scientist or inventor (unless potential Mastermind takes this duty upon himself) completely at the disposal of the applicant. Kidnapping civilian scientists for this purpose is allowable.
c. Mobilized Army of Evil, with appropriate Jungle/Space/Underwater Combat training.
d. Notarized plans for Global Domination; patent highly suggested.
e. At least one appropriate Instrument of Annihilation, in blueprints or prototype, but not test ready. The testing of any Instrument of Annihilation will be at the discretion of the Conclave as a whole.
f. A Secret Base of Criminal Operations in a discrete location, e.g. underground cave system, volcanic island, orbiting space station, Antarctic ice kingdom, etc.
g. One high-profile Super Agent nemesis, whose sole body of investigative work is dedicated to exposing and imprisoning the Mastermind in question. Must not be
viably able to do so, however. Such a condition would instantly disqualify said Mastermind.
3. Index of Villainous Notoriety must remain at a stable median level. The Mastermind must not commit too few crimes that his “villain” status be revoked, nor too many, lest he become careless with the authorities. Special dispensation regarding villainous activity for both novices and the especially perverse will be taken on a case-by-case basis.
4. Potential Masterminds are advised to craft individualized personae to best suit their overarching visions. Henchmen should also have personae complimentary to their Masterminds’. Villains are encouraged to be creative with their images, as the Conclave prides itself upon the diversity of its members.
5. Monthly tithing is required of all members. The tithe is established on a sliding scale calculated from the notoriety and assets of each individual member. A member’s tithe can theoretically vary between $500 monthly and 1/5th of any lands seized during the World Domination campaigns of the Mastermind.
6. Mandatory meetings for all Conclave members will take place monthly in the “Den of Iniquity” located under the Federal Courthouse of New Luxor City. Passwords will be provided upon membership and will be changed on a bimonthly basis. Topics during meetings relate to individual members’ campaigns as well as the insidious goals of the Conclave en bloc. Members are encouraged to bring guests or consorts, if desired.
7. Members unable to attend meetings or pay their tithes for three consecutive months (and not be imprisoned, retired, or under deep cover) will have their memberships voided and will become sworn enemies of the Conclave, under penalty of swift and ironic punishment.
8. The Conclave encourages its members to settle any disputes in the open forum of the meetings. If necessary, a mock Circle of Death can be created in the meeting space, and any residual complaints can be finalized in single-combat between Henchmen.
9. Each Mastermind in the Conclave will have an equal vote in all World Domination issues raised during meetings. Each member will also have veto power over the others. The Conclave will elect temporary commissioners to manage meetings. The leadership of the Conclave will rotate through the members on a regular basis.
10. Conclave members will retain immunity from one another in World Domination matters. If one Mastermind encroaches upon the territory of another, or otherwise violates the trust of the Conclave, he will be eligible for expulsion. If one member discovers that another is violating the rules of the Conclave, he must call a mandatory emergency meeting to report the violation.
11. Any mutated or genetically-engineered life forms used as Instruments of Annihilation must be supervised at all times. If an outbreak or escape occurs, the Conclave must be informed of the threat immediately.
12. If any external threat to the goals of the Conclave arises, e.g. an unstable free-lance villain bent upon the destruction of the world rather than its domination, members of the Conclave are given full dispensation to assist law enforcement efforts to quell the threat. Conclave members will report regularly on any information provided to the law enforcement agency, and must not compromise the integrity of the group as a whole.
13. Upon retirement, Conclave members will retain full immunity and privileges of active members, provided they do not compromise the Conclave in any way. If that is the case, the retired member will become a sworn enemy of the Conclave and will be subject to any punishment meted out by the current members.
14. No recording equipment of any kind is allowed into the sacred space of the meeting room in “The Den of Iniquity.” If any sessions are discovered to have been recorded, the treachery will be repaid with prompt retribution by the wronged parties.
15. Membership in the Conclave is highly competitive and new members must be unanimously agreed upon for admittance. Once a member has been inducted, he has equal standing with even the senior-ranking members. The Conclave was founded as an open forum for aspiring World Dominators to exchange ideas, services, and protection; however, in recent times it serves more as sounding board and neutral zone for like-minded Conqueror hopefuls. Membership also includes a free subscription to the Domination Monthly Journal and free use of the Conclave Seal in all World Ascendancy matters.
What do y'all think? I feel like I kind of lost the tone towards the end, but hopefully that's just me being overanalytical. If y'all have any feedback/suggestions please, um, holla!
Rules of the Conclave
1. Potential Neo-Anti-Federalists must have at least $100,000 in assets solely devoted to criminal empire-building; these assets must be regularly audited by the Internal Affairs minions, in order to preserve the Conclave’s high expectations of criminality.
2. To be considered a ranking member of the Conclave, a rising Criminal Mastermind must be in possession of at least five of the following:
a. Loyal Henchman, with at least fifty documented hours of plundering/torture/mayhem accrued specifically for potential Mastermind’s cause.
b. Mad scientist or inventor (unless potential Mastermind takes this duty upon himself) completely at the disposal of the applicant. Kidnapping civilian scientists for this purpose is allowable.
c. Mobilized Army of Evil, with appropriate Jungle/Space/Underwater Combat training.
d. Notarized plans for Global Domination; patent highly suggested.
e. At least one appropriate Instrument of Annihilation, in blueprints or prototype, but not test ready. The testing of any Instrument of Annihilation will be at the discretion of the Conclave as a whole.
f. A Secret Base of Criminal Operations in a discrete location, e.g. underground cave system, volcanic island, orbiting space station, Antarctic ice kingdom, etc.
g. One high-profile Super Agent nemesis, whose sole body of investigative work is dedicated to exposing and imprisoning the Mastermind in question. Must not be
viably able to do so, however. Such a condition would instantly disqualify said Mastermind.
3. Index of Villainous Notoriety must remain at a stable median level. The Mastermind must not commit too few crimes that his “villain” status be revoked, nor too many, lest he become careless with the authorities. Special dispensation regarding villainous activity for both novices and the especially perverse will be taken on a case-by-case basis.
4. Potential Masterminds are advised to craft individualized personae to best suit their overarching visions. Henchmen should also have personae complimentary to their Masterminds’. Villains are encouraged to be creative with their images, as the Conclave prides itself upon the diversity of its members.
5. Monthly tithing is required of all members. The tithe is established on a sliding scale calculated from the notoriety and assets of each individual member. A member’s tithe can theoretically vary between $500 monthly and 1/5th of any lands seized during the World Domination campaigns of the Mastermind.
6. Mandatory meetings for all Conclave members will take place monthly in the “Den of Iniquity” located under the Federal Courthouse of New Luxor City. Passwords will be provided upon membership and will be changed on a bimonthly basis. Topics during meetings relate to individual members’ campaigns as well as the insidious goals of the Conclave en bloc. Members are encouraged to bring guests or consorts, if desired.
7. Members unable to attend meetings or pay their tithes for three consecutive months (and not be imprisoned, retired, or under deep cover) will have their memberships voided and will become sworn enemies of the Conclave, under penalty of swift and ironic punishment.
8. The Conclave encourages its members to settle any disputes in the open forum of the meetings. If necessary, a mock Circle of Death can be created in the meeting space, and any residual complaints can be finalized in single-combat between Henchmen.
9. Each Mastermind in the Conclave will have an equal vote in all World Domination issues raised during meetings. Each member will also have veto power over the others. The Conclave will elect temporary commissioners to manage meetings. The leadership of the Conclave will rotate through the members on a regular basis.
10. Conclave members will retain immunity from one another in World Domination matters. If one Mastermind encroaches upon the territory of another, or otherwise violates the trust of the Conclave, he will be eligible for expulsion. If one member discovers that another is violating the rules of the Conclave, he must call a mandatory emergency meeting to report the violation.
11. Any mutated or genetically-engineered life forms used as Instruments of Annihilation must be supervised at all times. If an outbreak or escape occurs, the Conclave must be informed of the threat immediately.
12. If any external threat to the goals of the Conclave arises, e.g. an unstable free-lance villain bent upon the destruction of the world rather than its domination, members of the Conclave are given full dispensation to assist law enforcement efforts to quell the threat. Conclave members will report regularly on any information provided to the law enforcement agency, and must not compromise the integrity of the group as a whole.
13. Upon retirement, Conclave members will retain full immunity and privileges of active members, provided they do not compromise the Conclave in any way. If that is the case, the retired member will become a sworn enemy of the Conclave and will be subject to any punishment meted out by the current members.
14. No recording equipment of any kind is allowed into the sacred space of the meeting room in “The Den of Iniquity.” If any sessions are discovered to have been recorded, the treachery will be repaid with prompt retribution by the wronged parties.
15. Membership in the Conclave is highly competitive and new members must be unanimously agreed upon for admittance. Once a member has been inducted, he has equal standing with even the senior-ranking members. The Conclave was founded as an open forum for aspiring World Dominators to exchange ideas, services, and protection; however, in recent times it serves more as sounding board and neutral zone for like-minded Conqueror hopefuls. Membership also includes a free subscription to the Domination Monthly Journal and free use of the Conclave Seal in all World Ascendancy matters.
What do y'all think? I feel like I kind of lost the tone towards the end, but hopefully that's just me being overanalytical. If y'all have any feedback/suggestions please, um, holla!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
2 Books; 2 Levels of Disgust
Okay, so I'm taking a morning break from looking at my, well, I guess my manuscript. That sounds very formal, though, so I'll just call it book-thing. I feel like talking about other peoples' book-things.
Book 1: Twilight. I just can't stop making fun of it. I'm sorry. My rage is freshly fueled every time one of those horrible trailers comes on TV. Edward Cullen (James [eta: Pattinson, not Patterson. My bad.]) looks like a corpse, so explain to me how that is sexy. No, really, I just want to know the thought processes. I don't actually have much else to say about this other than point y'all in the direction of this amazing thing: Twilight. She (the one who drew the cartoon I linked to when I first cursed Twilight's name) wrote a chapter-by-chapter summary of the book. It's remarkably accurate. For extra giggles, read the diehard fans' responses as well. So if you've got some time to kill at wo--er, I mean home, check it out. You won't even need to read the book.
Book 2: American Psycho. Y'all know I have to talk about this one. It beats Blindness for most disturbing read by, like, a parsec. But I knew that going in, so I'll let it slide. I don't really consider myself squeamish. Blindness took me off guard, so I'll just say that's why the book freaked me out. American Psycho makes me feel like a lightweight. I actually had to steel myself to read some chapters, like getting ready to do serious weight-lifting.
It's very tricky, you see. He starts off very slow with the gore--none in the first, um, third, of the book or so. It's kind of mindnumbing, as he describes the typical yuppie boredom that dominated the 80s. It's kind of funny actually. He describes morning routines, people, and meals in excruciating detail. Yet none of the detail is actually meaningful. Every time he sees a person, he has to describe the brand names of every article of clothing. Every. Time. Meals are not described by taste, but by presentation and names of components. I never know if he can even taste the meals. Nothing really interests him and he lives life in a cloudy, rich daze, with a few oblique references to some sort of secret life.
Now, part two is where things get tricky. We start to see the murders. And they're not described as "he stabbed the bum to death with a knife." Oh no. Ellis is very good with, um, imagery. The murders escalate in intensity and duration as the book goes on. He stops flat-out murdering and begins to just torture his victims. It's incredibly disturbing. You never really get a chance to be desensitized to the actions, and since it's written in first-person, you can't ever really escape the action. You see and do everything he does. Eesh. I felt really dirty reading this on the bus; I was also extremely paranoid that someone might be reading over my shoulder. Not that anyone actually does that. I soon became afraid of any chapter that had "girl" in the title. Those were always the worst, because they mixed explicit sex and horrifying torture. Not as fun a read as you might think.
The third part is when things got really interesting. Patrick Bateman had been casually using drugs and prescription medications throughout the whole book, and completely loses it at the end. I mean, he goes batshit crazy. The murders continue increasing in intensity and also in brutality as Patrick Bateman completely decompensates. He becomes even more brutal than Dahmer and three times crazier. The tone of the book gets so paranoid and ramped up towards the end that the entire rest of the book is now ambiguous. Maybe he didn't kill all those people, maybe he did. At the end of the book, it's up to the reader to decide. Either way it was an exhausting read, but overall I recommend it. The contrast between the bored, empty life he leads, and what he chooses as an escape mechanism is very powerful. You get the impression that he just wants someone to notice who he really is rather than the preconceived image his acquaintances (he doesn't really have friends) have of him. In fact, he openly confesses to several of the murders, but nobody pays any attention.
Read it if you want a commentary on the emptiness of a life of blatant consumerism. But, don't read it if you can't handle the word "evisceration." Just trust me.
Book 1: Twilight. I just can't stop making fun of it. I'm sorry. My rage is freshly fueled every time one of those horrible trailers comes on TV. Edward Cullen (James [eta: Pattinson, not Patterson. My bad.]) looks like a corpse, so explain to me how that is sexy. No, really, I just want to know the thought processes. I don't actually have much else to say about this other than point y'all in the direction of this amazing thing: Twilight. She (the one who drew the cartoon I linked to when I first cursed Twilight's name) wrote a chapter-by-chapter summary of the book. It's remarkably accurate. For extra giggles, read the diehard fans' responses as well. So if you've got some time to kill at wo--er, I mean home, check it out. You won't even need to read the book.
Book 2: American Psycho. Y'all know I have to talk about this one. It beats Blindness for most disturbing read by, like, a parsec. But I knew that going in, so I'll let it slide. I don't really consider myself squeamish. Blindness took me off guard, so I'll just say that's why the book freaked me out. American Psycho makes me feel like a lightweight. I actually had to steel myself to read some chapters, like getting ready to do serious weight-lifting.
It's very tricky, you see. He starts off very slow with the gore--none in the first, um, third, of the book or so. It's kind of mindnumbing, as he describes the typical yuppie boredom that dominated the 80s. It's kind of funny actually. He describes morning routines, people, and meals in excruciating detail. Yet none of the detail is actually meaningful. Every time he sees a person, he has to describe the brand names of every article of clothing. Every. Time. Meals are not described by taste, but by presentation and names of components. I never know if he can even taste the meals. Nothing really interests him and he lives life in a cloudy, rich daze, with a few oblique references to some sort of secret life.
Now, part two is where things get tricky. We start to see the murders. And they're not described as "he stabbed the bum to death with a knife." Oh no. Ellis is very good with, um, imagery. The murders escalate in intensity and duration as the book goes on. He stops flat-out murdering and begins to just torture his victims. It's incredibly disturbing. You never really get a chance to be desensitized to the actions, and since it's written in first-person, you can't ever really escape the action. You see and do everything he does. Eesh. I felt really dirty reading this on the bus; I was also extremely paranoid that someone might be reading over my shoulder. Not that anyone actually does that. I soon became afraid of any chapter that had "girl" in the title. Those were always the worst, because they mixed explicit sex and horrifying torture. Not as fun a read as you might think.
The third part is when things got really interesting. Patrick Bateman had been casually using drugs and prescription medications throughout the whole book, and completely loses it at the end. I mean, he goes batshit crazy. The murders continue increasing in intensity and also in brutality as Patrick Bateman completely decompensates. He becomes even more brutal than Dahmer and three times crazier. The tone of the book gets so paranoid and ramped up towards the end that the entire rest of the book is now ambiguous. Maybe he didn't kill all those people, maybe he did. At the end of the book, it's up to the reader to decide. Either way it was an exhausting read, but overall I recommend it. The contrast between the bored, empty life he leads, and what he chooses as an escape mechanism is very powerful. You get the impression that he just wants someone to notice who he really is rather than the preconceived image his acquaintances (he doesn't really have friends) have of him. In fact, he openly confesses to several of the murders, but nobody pays any attention.
Read it if you want a commentary on the emptiness of a life of blatant consumerism. But, don't read it if you can't handle the word "evisceration." Just trust me.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
That Would be Telling
Hi guys. I guess it's winter, huh? That kind of snuck up on us since that mild Halloween where I was suffocating in the trench coat.
Anyway, I've been writing like crazy, yo. Ever since I came out of the authorial closet, as it were. Was that as jerkass a statement as I think it was? No time to edit, MOVING ON! Which kind of describes my actual writing style.
I really like my ideas. I like the spin I'm putting on my world, and I'm having a hell of a time creating the campy history. There are love affairs, crazy Russians, death rays, and secret societies in this world's history. The premise is that in such a campy, over-the-top world, a person who thinks normally should be able to avoid such camp pitfalls and actually accomplish their goals, e.g. actual world domination. But playing with the campy rules of the ridiculous world will inevitably turn even the sanest person into a caricature. Or something like that. That's loosely what it's about. Hopefully the word "camp" will still have meaning after I finish this blog entry.
I'm at an awful part of the book--about 30 pages in--where the inciting incident has already happened, but hasn't really started affecting him yet. So, he's just kind of bumming around waiting for the ax to fall, still thinking he's in complete control. It's boring to write, and going to be three times more boring to read, and I know I'll have to do serious damage control on this section. Well, I'll have to do serious damage control anyway since the entire story has been written as word vomit, where I just try to rip through as much as I can; rewrites will be a necessity. Mainly I've been telling and not showing, which is an easy pitfall when you write from a character's point of view. If you can hear their thoughts, how can they show and not tell? Not at all descriptive, but I figure I can come back to that kind of thing.
I guess I'm just getting frustrated, because I know what I've been writing hasn't been, um, good. I'm still optimistic, because what I'm writing now is an unfortunate necessity, which may be trimmed or disposed of later, provided I can figure out a better way to get from Point A to Point B. It's weird to be this excited about a story, but at the same time resentful of the actual output. Hopefully I can get my act together when I get to the really fun sections of the book, which I'm actually looking forward to writing. See, I haven't actually gotten to any of the campy characters yet. Those will be the most fun, I think.
Another big pitfall is I'm writing this as part of a planned series of books. The idea is far too large to be contained in one book, and the story has fallen into three different chunks. I'm trying very hard to have something actually happen in the first book. It's far more difficult than I originally thought it would be. Right now it's set up set up set up, which can be fun (when it comes to writing histories and stuff) but is mostly just annoying.
Anyway, that's where I am now. Frustration level and all. I still really want to write this bastard book, so I guess I'll just trudge through it.
Just thought I'd vent and write something in my voice rather than the voice of a egomaniacal, resentful yuppie genius, bent on global domination. Not that being in that head hasn't been fun and all...
Anyway, I've been writing like crazy, yo. Ever since I came out of the authorial closet, as it were. Was that as jerkass a statement as I think it was? No time to edit, MOVING ON! Which kind of describes my actual writing style.
I really like my ideas. I like the spin I'm putting on my world, and I'm having a hell of a time creating the campy history. There are love affairs, crazy Russians, death rays, and secret societies in this world's history. The premise is that in such a campy, over-the-top world, a person who thinks normally should be able to avoid such camp pitfalls and actually accomplish their goals, e.g. actual world domination. But playing with the campy rules of the ridiculous world will inevitably turn even the sanest person into a caricature. Or something like that. That's loosely what it's about. Hopefully the word "camp" will still have meaning after I finish this blog entry.
I'm at an awful part of the book--about 30 pages in--where the inciting incident has already happened, but hasn't really started affecting him yet. So, he's just kind of bumming around waiting for the ax to fall, still thinking he's in complete control. It's boring to write, and going to be three times more boring to read, and I know I'll have to do serious damage control on this section. Well, I'll have to do serious damage control anyway since the entire story has been written as word vomit, where I just try to rip through as much as I can; rewrites will be a necessity. Mainly I've been telling and not showing, which is an easy pitfall when you write from a character's point of view. If you can hear their thoughts, how can they show and not tell? Not at all descriptive, but I figure I can come back to that kind of thing.
I guess I'm just getting frustrated, because I know what I've been writing hasn't been, um, good. I'm still optimistic, because what I'm writing now is an unfortunate necessity, which may be trimmed or disposed of later, provided I can figure out a better way to get from Point A to Point B. It's weird to be this excited about a story, but at the same time resentful of the actual output. Hopefully I can get my act together when I get to the really fun sections of the book, which I'm actually looking forward to writing. See, I haven't actually gotten to any of the campy characters yet. Those will be the most fun, I think.
Another big pitfall is I'm writing this as part of a planned series of books. The idea is far too large to be contained in one book, and the story has fallen into three different chunks. I'm trying very hard to have something actually happen in the first book. It's far more difficult than I originally thought it would be. Right now it's set up set up set up, which can be fun (when it comes to writing histories and stuff) but is mostly just annoying.
Anyway, that's where I am now. Frustration level and all. I still really want to write this bastard book, so I guess I'll just trudge through it.
Just thought I'd vent and write something in my voice rather than the voice of a egomaniacal, resentful yuppie genius, bent on global domination. Not that being in that head hasn't been fun and all...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Creepy Creepy Video
Creepy Pencil
Just found this and wanted to share, because I like to disturb all of you whenever possible. Enjoy.
Oh, if you wanted an actual blog post:
I took a two hour nap today instead of going to the gym; my priorities need to be realigned, because now that the gym is closed, I am no longer tired.
There, that should sate you. Yes, I said sate.
Just found this and wanted to share, because I like to disturb all of you whenever possible. Enjoy.
Oh, if you wanted an actual blog post:
I took a two hour nap today instead of going to the gym; my priorities need to be realigned, because now that the gym is closed, I am no longer tired.
There, that should sate you. Yes, I said sate.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Yes We Can
Brace yourselves, I'm about to get political. I haven't really used this space for that reason yet, and I know that everyone is probably sick of hearing about politics, so I figure today is the last day that I can really talk about what went on last night.
I am an Obama supporter. This should not come as a great shock to anyone. I got up early yesterday (well, okay, early for me) to wait in line for 45 minutes to cast my vote in a state that was going blue anyway. I was excited and a little scared. Everyone there was.
Later on, at Sidetrack, watching the states turn primary colors was very exciting indeed. Once Ohio went blue, I knew it was all over. When they pulled up the map and showed us that even then if McCain were to win every state with a slight chance of going red, he still wouldn't get enough votes, my stomach clenched. And once the projections from the Pacific came in, and Obama won by a landslide, I freaked the hell out. Hearing all of Sidetrack singing "God Bless America" was one of the coolest things I've ever experienced. McCain had a great concession speech, even though it looked like Palin was about to burst into tears at any moment.
But I want to talk about Obama's acceptance speech, and how wonderful it was. He has always preached a message of unity and acceptance, which was nice to hear again. I watched the MLK "I Have a Dream" speech before the election, and it was kind of awesome to think about. His calling on people to join in to turn our country around was inspiring, and for the first time in 8 years, I felt it could happen. For the first time in 8 years I didn't want to just ride it out and try to ignore the message of fear. Hell, I was proud to be American again, rather than apologetic on behalf of my country. Look what we did.
It's just nice to feel like you can actually do something. I don't really expect change to happen immediately. That's not the point. Obama is not the messiah. However, I think this is a very important win, not only because he's the first black president, but it's the first time in over eight years that we as a people have had enough and are willing to take back the country. Our voices matter again, and that means we get to be proud patriotic Americans, regardless of what people like Sarah Palin think. Awesome.
Add: Prop 8 passed. Wow. Legalized discrimination. Thanks America for taking one big step forward and another back. Gosh, sorry California, I wish I could've helped.
Add 2: I should just avoid Facebook from now on.
I've decided three things:
1. I don't think people understand what Marxism actually is. Note: not a synonym for communism. Also, just shut up.
2. HEY, YOU, SHUT UP ABOUT HITLER'S SPEECHES. I'm flummoxed as to how people can even think about drawing comparisons between the two of them. Disliking a person because he's well-spoken and intelligent is revolting.
3. I don't think people understand the world: if you want to leave the country because it's getting too liberal, where in the hell are you going to go? Canada? Europe? Just think about that for a second.
Okay, so that's me talking about the political sphere. Tune in tomorrow when I get back to our reguarly scheduled frivolity.
I am an Obama supporter. This should not come as a great shock to anyone. I got up early yesterday (well, okay, early for me) to wait in line for 45 minutes to cast my vote in a state that was going blue anyway. I was excited and a little scared. Everyone there was.
Later on, at Sidetrack, watching the states turn primary colors was very exciting indeed. Once Ohio went blue, I knew it was all over. When they pulled up the map and showed us that even then if McCain were to win every state with a slight chance of going red, he still wouldn't get enough votes, my stomach clenched. And once the projections from the Pacific came in, and Obama won by a landslide, I freaked the hell out. Hearing all of Sidetrack singing "God Bless America" was one of the coolest things I've ever experienced. McCain had a great concession speech, even though it looked like Palin was about to burst into tears at any moment.
But I want to talk about Obama's acceptance speech, and how wonderful it was. He has always preached a message of unity and acceptance, which was nice to hear again. I watched the MLK "I Have a Dream" speech before the election, and it was kind of awesome to think about. His calling on people to join in to turn our country around was inspiring, and for the first time in 8 years, I felt it could happen. For the first time in 8 years I didn't want to just ride it out and try to ignore the message of fear. Hell, I was proud to be American again, rather than apologetic on behalf of my country. Look what we did.
It's just nice to feel like you can actually do something. I don't really expect change to happen immediately. That's not the point. Obama is not the messiah. However, I think this is a very important win, not only because he's the first black president, but it's the first time in over eight years that we as a people have had enough and are willing to take back the country. Our voices matter again, and that means we get to be proud patriotic Americans, regardless of what people like Sarah Palin think. Awesome.
Add: Prop 8 passed. Wow. Legalized discrimination. Thanks America for taking one big step forward and another back. Gosh, sorry California, I wish I could've helped.
Add 2: I should just avoid Facebook from now on.
I've decided three things:
1. I don't think people understand what Marxism actually is. Note: not a synonym for communism. Also, just shut up.
2. HEY, YOU, SHUT UP ABOUT HITLER'S SPEECHES. I'm flummoxed as to how people can even think about drawing comparisons between the two of them. Disliking a person because he's well-spoken and intelligent is revolting.
3. I don't think people understand the world: if you want to leave the country because it's getting too liberal, where in the hell are you going to go? Canada? Europe? Just think about that for a second.
Okay, so that's me talking about the political sphere. Tune in tomorrow when I get back to our reguarly scheduled frivolity.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Big Day, Yo
I voted, okay? However, this blog entry is not going to be about any of that. Yes, I know that today is exciting and nerve-wracking. I look forward to watching every hour of coverage tonight. I don't even want to get into this crazy dream/nightmare I had last weekend about how McCain won the election and nobody really cared.
I won't talk about that stuff now, because I need to talk about something else. This is a subject that bothered me for a while, and I am reminded of it more due to constant exposure during these times. I am referring, of course, to my love-hate relationship with the internet.
What I hate:
First of all, Internet, what's the deal with letting any kind of yahoo (see what I did there?) with a dial-up connection say whatever they want? Blah, blah First Amendment, blah. I know. But, at the very least, I'd like to see a basic spelling and grammar test before a person is able to post a comment to a blog or other public forum. This should take care of most trolls and spammers, since as a rule they seem incapable of stringing together even the most basic words into cogent arguments. And it'll make the rest of us try just a little bit harder to get our points across. Note: "Hi Freidlon7 sound like you doesn't like America.I know alot Western Europe jealouse with USA,without USA Europe is nothing . USA always help Europe in World War I & II.Sweden neutral because they are weak.Don't worry abaut my husband country just take care your own dame country because I know your country alot crime and terorist too." [big ole sic] This is not an argument. Please learn how to spellcheck, and maybe I'll listen to your opinions. Maybe.
Secondly, going off of this point, we need to eliminate anonymous comments. Nobody would ever say anything like that to a person's face, particularly a person who is better spoken with a tight grasp on actual, um, facts. The anonymity of the internet creates jerks, and sometimes I just can't handle it.
Thirdly, for the benefit of internet land, speaking in all caps isn't funny. YOU ARE YELLING. That doesn't make your point better; it just makes you more obnoxious. All caps can be used sparingly to great effect, BUT JUST NOT AS A RULE. Ahem. Also, for everyone who types out their handles like, oh, say **~~>HoTtIePrInCeSs2008<~~**: what the hell am I supposed to do with that? If all caps is yelling, I don't even know what's going on there. It is not cute. You are not instantly adorable. I have an instant appraisal of your IQ, though, however fair or unfair that may be. And enough with the ASCII art. When done well, it's cool, and on occasion funny; when done poorly, it's annoying.
Fourthly, Shock Sites. Good god, shock sites. Anyone can get to them. I won't mention any by name, but one prominent one rhymes with "flew pearls done sup." Just thinking about it squicks me out. The internet reminds me constantly that some people just ain't right.
I'm sure there are more reasons that I will inevitably remember after posting this.
But I like the Internet too!
Here, take some reasons:
1. The very idea of message boards and fan sites makes me unbelievably happy. Seeing people who share your interests from all around the world is a pretty amazing thing. I never actually post on any of these things, but I usually like to check them out to see what people are arguing about this time. Bonus points if they're well-written.
2. Internet memes are actually pretty funny for a little while. LOLCats and the like can be cute and entertaining. Sometimes people can be remarkably clever when they're not being weird and gross.
3. Dr. Horrible. That is all. (Sometimes I just find reasons to link to it)
4. I suppose the instant access to news about what's going on in the world is pretty awesome. Terrifying in some respects, but awesome.
Oh and other stuff I suppose. I got tired halfway through writing about the negatives, so I'm just not feeling this anymore. I'm sorry. The dark side of the internet has weakened me. Hey, it's gotta be doing something right, though, to be weaning me off of watching TV. I didn't turn my TV on much at all over the weekend. It felt good.
So, um, yeah. Go vote if you haven't already.
That's all.
I won't talk about that stuff now, because I need to talk about something else. This is a subject that bothered me for a while, and I am reminded of it more due to constant exposure during these times. I am referring, of course, to my love-hate relationship with the internet.
What I hate:
First of all, Internet, what's the deal with letting any kind of yahoo (see what I did there?) with a dial-up connection say whatever they want? Blah, blah First Amendment, blah. I know. But, at the very least, I'd like to see a basic spelling and grammar test before a person is able to post a comment to a blog or other public forum. This should take care of most trolls and spammers, since as a rule they seem incapable of stringing together even the most basic words into cogent arguments. And it'll make the rest of us try just a little bit harder to get our points across. Note: "Hi Freidlon7 sound like you doesn't like America.I know alot Western Europe jealouse with USA,without USA Europe is nothing . USA always help Europe in World War I & II.Sweden neutral because they are weak.Don't worry abaut my husband country just take care your own dame country because I know your country alot crime and terorist too." [big ole sic] This is not an argument. Please learn how to spellcheck, and maybe I'll listen to your opinions. Maybe.
Secondly, going off of this point, we need to eliminate anonymous comments. Nobody would ever say anything like that to a person's face, particularly a person who is better spoken with a tight grasp on actual, um, facts. The anonymity of the internet creates jerks, and sometimes I just can't handle it.
Thirdly, for the benefit of internet land, speaking in all caps isn't funny. YOU ARE YELLING. That doesn't make your point better; it just makes you more obnoxious. All caps can be used sparingly to great effect, BUT JUST NOT AS A RULE. Ahem. Also, for everyone who types out their handles like, oh, say **~~>HoTtIePrInCeSs2008<~~**: what the hell am I supposed to do with that? If all caps is yelling, I don't even know what's going on there. It is not cute. You are not instantly adorable. I have an instant appraisal of your IQ, though, however fair or unfair that may be. And enough with the ASCII art. When done well, it's cool, and on occasion funny; when done poorly, it's annoying.
Fourthly, Shock Sites. Good god, shock sites. Anyone can get to them. I won't mention any by name, but one prominent one rhymes with "flew pearls done sup." Just thinking about it squicks me out. The internet reminds me constantly that some people just ain't right.
I'm sure there are more reasons that I will inevitably remember after posting this.
But I like the Internet too!
Here, take some reasons:
1. The very idea of message boards and fan sites makes me unbelievably happy. Seeing people who share your interests from all around the world is a pretty amazing thing. I never actually post on any of these things, but I usually like to check them out to see what people are arguing about this time. Bonus points if they're well-written.
2. Internet memes are actually pretty funny for a little while. LOLCats and the like can be cute and entertaining. Sometimes people can be remarkably clever when they're not being weird and gross.
3. Dr. Horrible. That is all. (Sometimes I just find reasons to link to it)
4. I suppose the instant access to news about what's going on in the world is pretty awesome. Terrifying in some respects, but awesome.
Oh and other stuff I suppose. I got tired halfway through writing about the negatives, so I'm just not feeling this anymore. I'm sorry. The dark side of the internet has weakened me. Hey, it's gotta be doing something right, though, to be weaning me off of watching TV. I didn't turn my TV on much at all over the weekend. It felt good.
So, um, yeah. Go vote if you haven't already.
That's all.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
It's the Little Things
-Yesterday I went to four different costume/resale shops around the East Lakeview area. I found a red trench coat at Ragstock that was two sizes (at least) too large and was missing a prominent button. I felt like a kid playing dressup in the clothes that mom is giving away to goodwill. Today I will go to a couple more places in my desperate attempt to become the nefarious criminal mastermind Carmen Sandiego. If I am not successful, my contingency plans are either a Hello My Name Is sticker ala Oz or Three-Hole Punch Cristina. I see nothing wrong with either of those plans.
-I think I had a delightful run in with several gang members (possibly former gang members) in my elevator at 11 PM last night. I mean, I don't want to be stereotypical or anything, but they appeared to have all kinds of gang tattoos. And they seemed thuggishly inclined. Friendly, but thuggishly inclined. One of them lives in my building and drunkenly slurred something at me like "heyshryathemhrrudaday." I replied "yes, I think so." That seemed to satisfy him and he nodded to the other two. One of them had an empty tear drop tattoo under his left eye. I wonder if he killed someone. I told them to have a nice night when I got off on the 9th floor. They all cheerfully replied back. I can tell that we are going to be friends.
-Remember Josh? No? Well, I didn't either, at first. He's the one who cooked with me in, like, February. We watched Fight Club and made a souffle and then never hung out or spoke ever again. Yeah, he called me the other day, which completely confused me. I didn't even know who he was until the next day, that's how much he took me by surprise. Anyway, he claimed that he'd been trying to reach me, (bullshit) and wanted to invite me to go drinking at The Hopleaf with a bunch of other people. I wasn't really paying attention to the phone call, because I was trying to figure out what was going on when I should've been listening, but I think he said something about his leaving town soon or something. He also invited me to sushi, I think. It all happened so fast! Is it just me, or is this totally weird? Why on earth would he want to hang out with me after such a long time of absolutely no contact. And, more to the point, we had a definite conversation where we agreed to no longer hang out. Why did he keep my number? Currently perplexed.
-Speaking of Fight Club, I've decided that is part of the reason that I want to do Roller Derby. It's the closest legal, female equivalent to Fight Club. I'm not even exaggerating. Looking online, I've seen galleries dedicated to the injuries that women get from this sport, yet they get up and play through the contusions and sprains, and on occasion, breaks. Badass, indeed. "If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?" These women put themselves through so much pain, and I can't even imagine the thrill that it creates. Plus, fun personas, and a true sense of team spirit. Funnily enough, this is the only team sport that I've ever been enthusiastic about doing, and I can't even skate yet. "I am Jack's smirking revenge."
-At work, I've taken to listening to classical music on repeat as I doing/avoiding doing my work. It certainly changes the tone of the day in a much more exciting way than listening to most of what's on my iPod. Current selections are In the Hall of the Mountain King and Danse Macabre. Winter is approaching, so I may get into a Wagnerian mood next.
-Current page count for da book: 9. I never said I was a fast writer.
-I think my next DVD purchase may be Pan's Labyrinth. I'd really like to see it again, at least.
-I'm shocked I haven't watched any scary movies yet this Halloween season. SHOCKED. I even have three different Hitchcock movies from Netflix waiting for me on my coffee table. I'm sorry, awesomely freaky movies. Maybe I'll get to you around Christmas.
-Currently reading American Psycho, however, so maybe that makes up for it. Patrick Bateman makes me more afraid of the yuppies in my neighborhood than those potential gang members from the elevator.
-Shredding may be my favorite work related task ever. I like to keep the binder clips as hunting trophies. When I look at them stacked in my drawer, I sometimes relive the thrill of the shred. Is that creepy?
-Tomorrow, I'm going to wear my Vampire t-shirt to work in celebration of the Halloween casual day. It's time my coworkers found out about me once and for all.
-I think I had a delightful run in with several gang members (possibly former gang members) in my elevator at 11 PM last night. I mean, I don't want to be stereotypical or anything, but they appeared to have all kinds of gang tattoos. And they seemed thuggishly inclined. Friendly, but thuggishly inclined. One of them lives in my building and drunkenly slurred something at me like "heyshryathemhrrudaday." I replied "yes, I think so." That seemed to satisfy him and he nodded to the other two. One of them had an empty tear drop tattoo under his left eye. I wonder if he killed someone. I told them to have a nice night when I got off on the 9th floor. They all cheerfully replied back. I can tell that we are going to be friends.
-Remember Josh? No? Well, I didn't either, at first. He's the one who cooked with me in, like, February. We watched Fight Club and made a souffle and then never hung out or spoke ever again. Yeah, he called me the other day, which completely confused me. I didn't even know who he was until the next day, that's how much he took me by surprise. Anyway, he claimed that he'd been trying to reach me, (bullshit) and wanted to invite me to go drinking at The Hopleaf with a bunch of other people. I wasn't really paying attention to the phone call, because I was trying to figure out what was going on when I should've been listening, but I think he said something about his leaving town soon or something. He also invited me to sushi, I think. It all happened so fast! Is it just me, or is this totally weird? Why on earth would he want to hang out with me after such a long time of absolutely no contact. And, more to the point, we had a definite conversation where we agreed to no longer hang out. Why did he keep my number? Currently perplexed.
-Speaking of Fight Club, I've decided that is part of the reason that I want to do Roller Derby. It's the closest legal, female equivalent to Fight Club. I'm not even exaggerating. Looking online, I've seen galleries dedicated to the injuries that women get from this sport, yet they get up and play through the contusions and sprains, and on occasion, breaks. Badass, indeed. "If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?" These women put themselves through so much pain, and I can't even imagine the thrill that it creates. Plus, fun personas, and a true sense of team spirit. Funnily enough, this is the only team sport that I've ever been enthusiastic about doing, and I can't even skate yet. "I am Jack's smirking revenge."
-At work, I've taken to listening to classical music on repeat as I doing/avoiding doing my work. It certainly changes the tone of the day in a much more exciting way than listening to most of what's on my iPod. Current selections are In the Hall of the Mountain King and Danse Macabre. Winter is approaching, so I may get into a Wagnerian mood next.
-Current page count for da book: 9. I never said I was a fast writer.
-I think my next DVD purchase may be Pan's Labyrinth. I'd really like to see it again, at least.
-I'm shocked I haven't watched any scary movies yet this Halloween season. SHOCKED. I even have three different Hitchcock movies from Netflix waiting for me on my coffee table. I'm sorry, awesomely freaky movies. Maybe I'll get to you around Christmas.
-Currently reading American Psycho, however, so maybe that makes up for it. Patrick Bateman makes me more afraid of the yuppies in my neighborhood than those potential gang members from the elevator.
-Shredding may be my favorite work related task ever. I like to keep the binder clips as hunting trophies. When I look at them stacked in my drawer, I sometimes relive the thrill of the shred. Is that creepy?
-Tomorrow, I'm going to wear my Vampire t-shirt to work in celebration of the Halloween casual day. It's time my coworkers found out about me once and for all.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
When You are Dying, I'll Be Still Alive
So, I've recently discovered the musical stylings of one Jonathan Coulton. Well, he was recommended to me, that is. Amazing, simply amazing.
I actually found the song "Still Alive" a while back on my own. That's the song playing over the end credits of the computer game Portal, which I'm actually thinking about buying, because it's apparently an amazing puzzle game. The song was written by Jonathan Coulton, and is quite hilarious. It's basically the computer congratulating you on beating at and giving you passive-aggressive warnings about how it's still alive. It's really funny, and I've never even played the game. I first found it because I saw a clip of Felicia Day, Penny from Dr. Horrible, singing it with him at ComiCon.
He tends to write songs that are about the weirdest topics, from an giant squid to a zombie attack to a surprisingly sad/touching song about Laika. Yes, the first dog in space. They're amazing. And, not just in a funny, dorky way. They're genuinely good songs, in my opinion. He does a hilarious cover of "Baby Got Back."
I guess I just wanted to share the love. Right now I've got "Still Alive" stuck in my head, and I wanted to let people know that.
You should listen to these songs. Here, have some links:
Still Alive
The Future Soon
Skullcrusher Mountain
Creepy Doll
I Crush Everything
re: Your Brains
and the touching Space Doggity
I actually found the song "Still Alive" a while back on my own. That's the song playing over the end credits of the computer game Portal, which I'm actually thinking about buying, because it's apparently an amazing puzzle game. The song was written by Jonathan Coulton, and is quite hilarious. It's basically the computer congratulating you on beating at and giving you passive-aggressive warnings about how it's still alive. It's really funny, and I've never even played the game. I first found it because I saw a clip of Felicia Day, Penny from Dr. Horrible, singing it with him at ComiCon.
He tends to write songs that are about the weirdest topics, from an giant squid to a zombie attack to a surprisingly sad/touching song about Laika. Yes, the first dog in space. They're amazing. And, not just in a funny, dorky way. They're genuinely good songs, in my opinion. He does a hilarious cover of "Baby Got Back."
I guess I just wanted to share the love. Right now I've got "Still Alive" stuck in my head, and I wanted to let people know that.
You should listen to these songs. Here, have some links:
Still Alive
The Future Soon
Skullcrusher Mountain
Creepy Doll
I Crush Everything
re: Your Brains
and the touching Space Doggity
Monday, October 27, 2008
Laura Wins
Okay, I think many of you are aware of the serious arm-twisting that my dear friend Laura has been giving me in the past few weeks. Ever since going with her and Eric to see Roller Derby in September, I've been interested in the sport. I mean, seriously, it's hardcore. All you really need to know is that it's a bunch of tough, heavily tattooed women on roller skates trying to kill each other. Awesome. They also have fantastically funny punny names.
Actually, let me amend this by saying that after I saw my first bout, the battle was all inside me. It seems like incredibly good fun, as well as a great release from, you know, regular life. Obviously it's lots of hard work and practice and stuff. It's not like I'm doing anything else with my free time. So, yeah, I've been going back and forth and back and forth. The arguments are mainly, "but you don't know how to skate!" and "but it looks awesome!"
I finally told myself, I said "Self, if not knowing how to skate is the only thing that's bothering you, why don't you just learn?"
So, yeah, I bought some damn skates. They're cheap and probably no good, but I figure they'd be perfect for learning how to do basic stuff. This is just enough time for me to try out come next year's tryouts in June. I like to have good, um, cushions of time to learn new skills. I think 8 months is a good time period to learn how to skate. I've even thought up a few decent names. I figure that if I'm daydreaming about this, it's probably a good thing to actually try.
See! Even now I'm talking myself into it, even though I've already invested at least minimal time and effort into this. This could end up being my new thing. Here, check out the website.
Get excited, people.
Actually, let me amend this by saying that after I saw my first bout, the battle was all inside me. It seems like incredibly good fun, as well as a great release from, you know, regular life. Obviously it's lots of hard work and practice and stuff. It's not like I'm doing anything else with my free time. So, yeah, I've been going back and forth and back and forth. The arguments are mainly, "but you don't know how to skate!" and "but it looks awesome!"
I finally told myself, I said "Self, if not knowing how to skate is the only thing that's bothering you, why don't you just learn?"
So, yeah, I bought some damn skates. They're cheap and probably no good, but I figure they'd be perfect for learning how to do basic stuff. This is just enough time for me to try out come next year's tryouts in June. I like to have good, um, cushions of time to learn new skills. I think 8 months is a good time period to learn how to skate. I've even thought up a few decent names. I figure that if I'm daydreaming about this, it's probably a good thing to actually try.
See! Even now I'm talking myself into it, even though I've already invested at least minimal time and effort into this. This could end up being my new thing. Here, check out the website.
Get excited, people.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The Process Sucks
Okay, since I announced that I am writing a book I haven't exactly been, um, writing. I love my idea. I love my characters. I love my world. It's the easiest thing in the world for me to plan out a story. As I've always had an overactive imagination, it's remarkably easy for me to create new realities and stuff. Some people probably think that I've been tiptoeing the line of sanity my whole life. Whenever I remember my dreams, they're never boring. I mean, my crazy imagination is the reason I get so damn into the various fandoms that I've gotten into--I fall into new worlds very easily. So y'all can understand that the planning of the book(s?), developing of the characters, and so on is great fun for me.
It's the writing that's the bitch. I forgot the horror that looking at a white screen with just a damn cursor creates. Especially when you've got so much to say, and you just don't know where to start. And it's just there blinking at you. Mocking you with it's metronome-like beats. And then you wonder if you've gotten in over your head, since this is the part that really matters. Who cares if you have an awesome story, if all you can do is stare at that cursor. So you write one line. Then two. You make the mistake of reading them. They're really bad. Who would read this garbage? So you erase it, taking each character away in a desperate attempt to win back your sanity. I know I can write. I know it's in me. You're too self-conscious now. What's a good way to introduce your main character? Waking up? No, no that's waaay too trite. How about through the eyes of other characters? No, that's just confusing when I start to tell the story from the character's POV. How about an inciting event that is the backdrop for the action, which will happen later? Eh, but where's my protagonist in all of this?
So, I take a break. I clear my head. I read. I'm exhausted. My arm hurts. No, concentrate! I manage to finally write some more, but I run into the same problems. I'm not even sure I know who this person is anymore. Why should readers care who in the hell he is, anyway? Why do I even want to do this? What am I trying to say anymore?
Hell with it. I took my laptop to Clarke's on Sunday, and I sat and wrote. That third person crap wasn't working, so I just rambled for about two pages from my protagonist's point of view regarding what he thinks of the world. And you know, that was the very first time that I got him. I actually understood what's driving him and how he sees himself. Not the most reliable narrator in the world, but there's nothing wrong with that. I finally saw what I needed to see. And no, he doesn't think like me. Not at all. His voice is more authoritative. More cocky and sure of himself. I don't necessarily share his views. But I like him, even though he's kind of a jerk. I think I'll write the story in his first-person point of view, as I've realized that it seems to be the easiest way for me. The hardest part is making sure he sounds like a guy all the time, since I'm not even going to pretend that I naturally understand how male minds work. But I can figure that part out easily enough.
Just got my second wind, guys. I'm officially excited about this again.
It's the writing that's the bitch. I forgot the horror that looking at a white screen with just a damn cursor creates. Especially when you've got so much to say, and you just don't know where to start. And it's just there blinking at you. Mocking you with it's metronome-like beats. And then you wonder if you've gotten in over your head, since this is the part that really matters. Who cares if you have an awesome story, if all you can do is stare at that cursor. So you write one line. Then two. You make the mistake of reading them. They're really bad. Who would read this garbage? So you erase it, taking each character away in a desperate attempt to win back your sanity. I know I can write. I know it's in me. You're too self-conscious now. What's a good way to introduce your main character? Waking up? No, no that's waaay too trite. How about through the eyes of other characters? No, that's just confusing when I start to tell the story from the character's POV. How about an inciting event that is the backdrop for the action, which will happen later? Eh, but where's my protagonist in all of this?
So, I take a break. I clear my head. I read. I'm exhausted. My arm hurts. No, concentrate! I manage to finally write some more, but I run into the same problems. I'm not even sure I know who this person is anymore. Why should readers care who in the hell he is, anyway? Why do I even want to do this? What am I trying to say anymore?
Hell with it. I took my laptop to Clarke's on Sunday, and I sat and wrote. That third person crap wasn't working, so I just rambled for about two pages from my protagonist's point of view regarding what he thinks of the world. And you know, that was the very first time that I got him. I actually understood what's driving him and how he sees himself. Not the most reliable narrator in the world, but there's nothing wrong with that. I finally saw what I needed to see. And no, he doesn't think like me. Not at all. His voice is more authoritative. More cocky and sure of himself. I don't necessarily share his views. But I like him, even though he's kind of a jerk. I think I'll write the story in his first-person point of view, as I've realized that it seems to be the easiest way for me. The hardest part is making sure he sounds like a guy all the time, since I'm not even going to pretend that I naturally understand how male minds work. But I can figure that part out easily enough.
Just got my second wind, guys. I'm officially excited about this again.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I Just Flew In from [insert generic city]
and boy are my arms tired! rimshot
That's what some people think about stand up comedy. Either that or an endless flood of mediocre, tasteless jokes told by an overgrown, possibly drunk frat boy who has been told he's funny his entire life. He's not.
I think this is why comedy has gotten such a bad rap from the public. It's not really seen as hard work, even though I think it's probably one of the hardest performance arts out there. Think about it. Last night I wanted to cheer when Kathy Griffin called Bullshit on Sarah Palin's difficulties as a woman in politics. Try being a female stand up comic indeed.
But, I do enjoy good comedy. Always have. I went through a rather, um, uncomfortable phase when I was determined to try it. I'm glad I talked myself down, because that would probably have been humiliating to the tenth degree. Plus, I'm not really that funny in person. I do respect people that can do that for a living, though. That takes mad skills and some rhino-thick hide.
Having said that, I tried to think about what I do find funny. Like, why do I like particular comedian/iennes and make it a point to revile others. I think it has to do with self-deprecation in comedy sets. I really like people who possess the ability to make fun of themselves, as it makes them much more human and really does provide an endless font of material. Kathy Griffin does that very well. Certainly she rips into other celebrities, but makes fun of herself the most. That's cool. Plus, I think she's genuinely a very funny person. Which I've discovered not all comedians actually are.
To be honest, I think I like female comics (on the whole) more than most male comics for that very reason. I feel like guys take themselves far more seriously than women do. Way to generalize and be stereotypical, Cristina; I know. But that's what I'm getting. Maybe that's because women have to work harder, and frankly be that much funnier to get crowds. The stereotypical comment that I've heard my whole life is that women are simply not funny. Many guys actually do think this.
Okay, so not true. But maybe they have to work harder to be found funny by people that think that. Also, it makes sense that women tend to have a different kind of sense of humor than men do, and rarely do the twain meet. I mean, don't get me wrong--I like comedy from male stand ups as well. Eddie Izzard is unbelievably amazing, and if it didn't cost the soul of my first born child to get into one of his shows, I'd go. (for a really great way to kill some time at work or um, at home, because being on the internet at work is WRONG: go here) But his comedy isn't really "guy comedy." You know the kind: ranting about the old ball & chain, talking about doing really stupid shit when drunk, and generally being an asshole to people. It seems crueler somehow. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm well aware that Kathy Griffin is an asshole to people. Certainly--it's her schtick. But not in that "guy" way. She has her reasons for being a jerk, and they make sense. She's all about taking people down, who kind of deserve it, not because she just wants to be mean. That's why celebrities hate her: she can see through them, and will let people know that.
Perhaps I'm overgeneralizing. I like lots of male comedians, and I get their jokes. George Carlin and Kathy Griffin can be enjoyed by the same people, and not just because the both say "fuck" a lot. I guess I'm getting sick of the smugness that lots of male comics bring to the table. I think, as a rule, women don't get that way, because expectations are different for them. If a woman brings down the house, you know she earned it all the way.
[ETA: This has nothing to do with comedic actors. That's something different. This is about stand-up comedy, which is probably a dying art. Different rules and different set of standards.]
Much of this has probably been fueled by the simple fact that I cannot stand Dane Cook. He's just not funny, and pretty much exemplifies how people think that "random" is funny. It's not. Stop feeding his ego, people. Maybe then people will stop paying him to be in really horrible-looking movies. Think of the children!
Maybe I'm just looking for another way to cry "Misogyny!" This is probably very unfair to lots of male comedians who have also had to rise through the trenches to get where they are now. Even Jeff Foxworthy had to work hard to perfect his "you might be a redneck" sets. I just want to see more funny women these days. I know they're out there somewhere, biting their tongues at some jerk guy who just told a really bad joke.
And if anyone thinks I'm being unfair (which I may very well be) or has any thoughts on the matter, please comment! I'm still trying to parse my own feelings about this. I probably won't even get argumentative and defensive with you!
And now, take my wife! Please!
That's what some people think about stand up comedy. Either that or an endless flood of mediocre, tasteless jokes told by an overgrown, possibly drunk frat boy who has been told he's funny his entire life. He's not.
I think this is why comedy has gotten such a bad rap from the public. It's not really seen as hard work, even though I think it's probably one of the hardest performance arts out there. Think about it. Last night I wanted to cheer when Kathy Griffin called Bullshit on Sarah Palin's difficulties as a woman in politics. Try being a female stand up comic indeed.
But, I do enjoy good comedy. Always have. I went through a rather, um, uncomfortable phase when I was determined to try it. I'm glad I talked myself down, because that would probably have been humiliating to the tenth degree. Plus, I'm not really that funny in person. I do respect people that can do that for a living, though. That takes mad skills and some rhino-thick hide.
Having said that, I tried to think about what I do find funny. Like, why do I like particular comedian/iennes and make it a point to revile others. I think it has to do with self-deprecation in comedy sets. I really like people who possess the ability to make fun of themselves, as it makes them much more human and really does provide an endless font of material. Kathy Griffin does that very well. Certainly she rips into other celebrities, but makes fun of herself the most. That's cool. Plus, I think she's genuinely a very funny person. Which I've discovered not all comedians actually are.
To be honest, I think I like female comics (on the whole) more than most male comics for that very reason. I feel like guys take themselves far more seriously than women do. Way to generalize and be stereotypical, Cristina; I know. But that's what I'm getting. Maybe that's because women have to work harder, and frankly be that much funnier to get crowds. The stereotypical comment that I've heard my whole life is that women are simply not funny. Many guys actually do think this.
Okay, so not true. But maybe they have to work harder to be found funny by people that think that. Also, it makes sense that women tend to have a different kind of sense of humor than men do, and rarely do the twain meet. I mean, don't get me wrong--I like comedy from male stand ups as well. Eddie Izzard is unbelievably amazing, and if it didn't cost the soul of my first born child to get into one of his shows, I'd go. (for a really great way to kill some time at work or um, at home, because being on the internet at work is WRONG: go here) But his comedy isn't really "guy comedy." You know the kind: ranting about the old ball & chain, talking about doing really stupid shit when drunk, and generally being an asshole to people. It seems crueler somehow. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm well aware that Kathy Griffin is an asshole to people. Certainly--it's her schtick. But not in that "guy" way. She has her reasons for being a jerk, and they make sense. She's all about taking people down, who kind of deserve it, not because she just wants to be mean. That's why celebrities hate her: she can see through them, and will let people know that.
Perhaps I'm overgeneralizing. I like lots of male comedians, and I get their jokes. George Carlin and Kathy Griffin can be enjoyed by the same people, and not just because the both say "fuck" a lot. I guess I'm getting sick of the smugness that lots of male comics bring to the table. I think, as a rule, women don't get that way, because expectations are different for them. If a woman brings down the house, you know she earned it all the way.
[ETA: This has nothing to do with comedic actors. That's something different. This is about stand-up comedy, which is probably a dying art. Different rules and different set of standards.]
Much of this has probably been fueled by the simple fact that I cannot stand Dane Cook. He's just not funny, and pretty much exemplifies how people think that "random" is funny. It's not. Stop feeding his ego, people. Maybe then people will stop paying him to be in really horrible-looking movies. Think of the children!
Maybe I'm just looking for another way to cry "Misogyny!" This is probably very unfair to lots of male comedians who have also had to rise through the trenches to get where they are now. Even Jeff Foxworthy had to work hard to perfect his "you might be a redneck" sets. I just want to see more funny women these days. I know they're out there somewhere, biting their tongues at some jerk guy who just told a really bad joke.
And if anyone thinks I'm being unfair (which I may very well be) or has any thoughts on the matter, please comment! I'm still trying to parse my own feelings about this. I probably won't even get argumentative and defensive with you!
And now, take my wife! Please!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
God Hollywood, Stop Sucking So Bad
I'm a creature of habit, as many of you know. I like to go home after a long day's work, play with the cats, surf the 'net (IF I EVER GET MY NEW COMPUTER), maybe pop some corn and catch up with my stories.
I have shows that I regularly watch and a few others that I'm just beginning to get into. For me, television is a necessary component in unwinding after a tiring [read:boring] day. I need something to grip me, or else I'll just slip into a stupor. Reading is great (especially for the bus rides), but sometimes I need to see the story. And there are some great ones out there.
Let me take this opportunity to thank the studios for finally paying their writers what they deserve, because some of the cleverest writing out there is on TV. I mean, it really makes sense, if you think about it: TV writers have to cram a full story into either 1 hour or 30 minutes. The dialogue has to be crisp and clever, and the story has to progress efficiently, with just enough left hanging to keep the viewer coming back for more next week. I like TV, okay.
I like certain shows, too. They may not always be the "best" shows on TV, but they normally have something fun to hook me with. Like Summer Glau. Speaking of Terminator: TSCC, I'm worried. I think they're going to cancel the show this season, because the ratings aren't that great. Okay, so it's the Terminator TV show. I get that people might think that's ridiculous. But, I actually really like it. Not only is it full of fun action sequences, but it's really secretly a heartwarming family show. With killer robots! And I fear for its safety. I really hope Fox doesn't pull the plug soon, but I think it's going to happen.
Pushing Daisies is adorable. It may push every boundary of realism, and be kind of sugary sweet, but it completely embraces it. It's so damn cute, and the stories are so bizarre and over the top that it actually really works. It's like if Tim Burton decided, "Hell with it, I'm producing something CHEERFUL." According to a headline I just read (which inspired this whole post), more people are watching Knight Rider, which is a horrific remake of a sci-fi TV show **coughbionicwomancough**. Really? That show doesn't even look fun, for all its flashy special effects. I don't think I have to worry about this show yet, but I'm more on edge than I want to be.
The Riches is officially cancelled. That really sucks, but I'm not surprised. FX didn't give it a good chance, and I think the Writer's Strike killed it, as the past season seemed really rushed and random. That's really a shame, because it was an interesting concept and I really enjoyed watching Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver onscreen together.
Thank god for new pleasures. I'm always late in the game with certain shows, since my curiosity for them is inevitably killed by approximately 200 people ordering me to check out this particular TV show. I'm sure it's wonderful, but you sound like a crazy person. Don't you talk about "glass houses" to me! Stop it. There's a reason that I haven't actually watched The Wire yet. Anyway, I finally broke down and watched a House marathon on USA, and okay, crazy people, it's a really good procedural. And a breath of fresh air from the currently stale medical dramas and L&O. Hugh Laurie is kind of amazing, and I do have lots of fun playing "what else was he/she in?" with the guest stars. Seriously good guest stars. And did I mention Hugh Laurie? This is a good show to sit and watch if you have an hour to kill.
I'm finally watching Mad Men as well. And, AND, I watched it before it won the Emmy. Check my Twitter feed if you don't believe me. It's so good that I've got a series recording of it set up on my DVR. I don't do that for any other show. Even the shows that I actually do regularly record. Amazing cast (including the incredible Christina Hendricks AKA YoSaffBridge from Firefly), compelling scripts (Marti Noxon just joined the writing staff for anyone who might know who she is), and set/wardrobe to die for. I highly recommend it, although be warned, it's not a fast moving show, and you have to pay attention to details. I'm incredibly impressed that it actually won the Emmy, as it's not the flashiest show out there. But it certainly deserved it, in my point of view. Hollywood done good. Even though I read another headline somewhere that more people watch that horrible Scott Baio show than probably even know what Mad Men is. That's appalling, but I believe it.
Thankfully I've also got shows like The Office and 30 Rock (when it eventually comes back) to fall back on. But other than that, I can't help but think that TV is getting really, really bad. Did y'all see the previews for Kath & Kim? Yikes. Is this what the vast majority of America wants to see? Really?
Please stop taking away the shows that I do watch, in order to cater to the loutish masses.
Please.
Fine, I'll be over here waiting patiently for Dollhouse to premiere.
I have shows that I regularly watch and a few others that I'm just beginning to get into. For me, television is a necessary component in unwinding after a tiring [read:boring] day. I need something to grip me, or else I'll just slip into a stupor. Reading is great (especially for the bus rides), but sometimes I need to see the story. And there are some great ones out there.
Let me take this opportunity to thank the studios for finally paying their writers what they deserve, because some of the cleverest writing out there is on TV. I mean, it really makes sense, if you think about it: TV writers have to cram a full story into either 1 hour or 30 minutes. The dialogue has to be crisp and clever, and the story has to progress efficiently, with just enough left hanging to keep the viewer coming back for more next week. I like TV, okay.
I like certain shows, too. They may not always be the "best" shows on TV, but they normally have something fun to hook me with. Like Summer Glau. Speaking of Terminator: TSCC, I'm worried. I think they're going to cancel the show this season, because the ratings aren't that great. Okay, so it's the Terminator TV show. I get that people might think that's ridiculous. But, I actually really like it. Not only is it full of fun action sequences, but it's really secretly a heartwarming family show. With killer robots! And I fear for its safety. I really hope Fox doesn't pull the plug soon, but I think it's going to happen.
Pushing Daisies is adorable. It may push every boundary of realism, and be kind of sugary sweet, but it completely embraces it. It's so damn cute, and the stories are so bizarre and over the top that it actually really works. It's like if Tim Burton decided, "Hell with it, I'm producing something CHEERFUL." According to a headline I just read (which inspired this whole post), more people are watching Knight Rider, which is a horrific remake of a sci-fi TV show **coughbionicwomancough**. Really? That show doesn't even look fun, for all its flashy special effects. I don't think I have to worry about this show yet, but I'm more on edge than I want to be.
The Riches is officially cancelled. That really sucks, but I'm not surprised. FX didn't give it a good chance, and I think the Writer's Strike killed it, as the past season seemed really rushed and random. That's really a shame, because it was an interesting concept and I really enjoyed watching Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver onscreen together.
Thank god for new pleasures. I'm always late in the game with certain shows, since my curiosity for them is inevitably killed by approximately 200 people ordering me to check out this particular TV show. I'm sure it's wonderful, but you sound like a crazy person. Don't you talk about "glass houses" to me! Stop it. There's a reason that I haven't actually watched The Wire yet. Anyway, I finally broke down and watched a House marathon on USA, and okay, crazy people, it's a really good procedural. And a breath of fresh air from the currently stale medical dramas and L&O. Hugh Laurie is kind of amazing, and I do have lots of fun playing "what else was he/she in?" with the guest stars. Seriously good guest stars. And did I mention Hugh Laurie? This is a good show to sit and watch if you have an hour to kill.
I'm finally watching Mad Men as well. And, AND, I watched it before it won the Emmy. Check my Twitter feed if you don't believe me. It's so good that I've got a series recording of it set up on my DVR. I don't do that for any other show. Even the shows that I actually do regularly record. Amazing cast (including the incredible Christina Hendricks AKA YoSaffBridge from Firefly), compelling scripts (Marti Noxon just joined the writing staff for anyone who might know who she is), and set/wardrobe to die for. I highly recommend it, although be warned, it's not a fast moving show, and you have to pay attention to details. I'm incredibly impressed that it actually won the Emmy, as it's not the flashiest show out there. But it certainly deserved it, in my point of view. Hollywood done good. Even though I read another headline somewhere that more people watch that horrible Scott Baio show than probably even know what Mad Men is. That's appalling, but I believe it.
Thankfully I've also got shows like The Office and 30 Rock (when it eventually comes back) to fall back on. But other than that, I can't help but think that TV is getting really, really bad. Did y'all see the previews for Kath & Kim? Yikes. Is this what the vast majority of America wants to see? Really?
Please stop taking away the shows that I do watch, in order to cater to the loutish masses.
Please.
Fine, I'll be over here waiting patiently for Dollhouse to premiere.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Costume? What Costume?
I realize that it's October again, which normally means Halloween is here. The Walgreens also gave me some hints about that. I normally phone in a costume. I mean, last year's vampire wasn't exactly inspired. I don't ever really have fun with it, even that one year that I was the pimp. I think my hos had a better time, to be perfectly honest.
I think I realized my problem: they never represent me. Who I am. Blah blah Halloween is about being something not you, blah blah. But no! That's not really true, is it? Where's the fun in being a character or thing that you don't like/aren't comfortable with? I now know what I have to do: just embrace my inner geek and be done with it.
This doesn't mean that I'm going to be, like, Princess Leia or something. That's just unoriginal. I don't want to be something that everyone gets. I'd like to be something that even just a single person can come up to me and say "awesome." Isn't that the point of geekdom?
But, still, I don't want to go too crazy with it. I'm actually a pretty low-level geek, as far as my interests go. I ain't touching Star Trek, or anything else that is notorious for its Conventions.
Here are some ideas:
1. A random person living in The Village. Perhaps even a Number 2! This is actually seeming more and more like the right option. The extras on the TV show (which I am admittedly watching these days) always wear the bizarrest crap. It's all rainbow colors and strange capes, and crazy hats. The Penny Farthing Bicycle is the symbol for the village. It's pretty awesome. Also it's an amazing show, which I highly recommend. Ooh, I could also carry a blown up white balloon to represent "Rover." I really like this idea.
2. Sarah Freakin' Connor. This is basically my costume to indulge badassitude. Seriously. I could go for the insane asylum, pen-stabbing, pajama-wearing Sarah Connor. Or I could do the tank-top & ray ban military look. What props other than fake guns could I use, though? The dismembered head of a Terminator? This could be an option.
3. Kaylee Frye. Betcha thought that I would've said something related to Buffy, right? Nope. I'm not even going to try to relate in any way physically to Sarah Michelle Gellar or Alyson Hannigan. Plus, those aren't really costumes. More like nice(ish) clothes. Naw, Kaylee is a much better choice; she'll also be pretty easy to duplicate. A mixture of frontier-wear and Chinese-inspired clothing. I could even carry that umbrella that she had in Serenity (pilot, not movie). A cute choice, and maybe I'll meet some drunken Browncoats or something. Gotta show Firefly some love these days too!
4. Agent Dana Scully. I'd just wear my suit. This is a horrible idea. Let's move on.
5. Speaking of horrible, a Captain Hammer groupie. All that a Captain Hammer groupie would really need is a Captain Hammer t-shirt. Who wouldn't want a picture of Nathan Fillion on their shirt! Alternatively, I could go as one of the members of the Evil League of Evil. There were a few women, like Fury Leika or Snakebite or Tie-Die. I'm having way too much fun with this.
6. CARMEN SANDIEGO. It's all about the red trenchcoat & fedora & hilariously named henchmen. I think this one speaks for itself. I could find a miniature version of the Eiffel Tower and carry it around with me. This may be too broad, though. Awesome, but broad.
That's all that I can think of for now. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm open to thoughts. This may be one of the first Halloweens that I actually get excited about what I'm going to go as.
I think I realized my problem: they never represent me. Who I am. Blah blah Halloween is about being something not you, blah blah. But no! That's not really true, is it? Where's the fun in being a character or thing that you don't like/aren't comfortable with? I now know what I have to do: just embrace my inner geek and be done with it.
This doesn't mean that I'm going to be, like, Princess Leia or something. That's just unoriginal. I don't want to be something that everyone gets. I'd like to be something that even just a single person can come up to me and say "awesome." Isn't that the point of geekdom?
But, still, I don't want to go too crazy with it. I'm actually a pretty low-level geek, as far as my interests go. I ain't touching Star Trek, or anything else that is notorious for its Conventions.
Here are some ideas:
1. A random person living in The Village. Perhaps even a Number 2! This is actually seeming more and more like the right option. The extras on the TV show (which I am admittedly watching these days) always wear the bizarrest crap. It's all rainbow colors and strange capes, and crazy hats. The Penny Farthing Bicycle is the symbol for the village. It's pretty awesome. Also it's an amazing show, which I highly recommend. Ooh, I could also carry a blown up white balloon to represent "Rover." I really like this idea.
2. Sarah Freakin' Connor. This is basically my costume to indulge badassitude. Seriously. I could go for the insane asylum, pen-stabbing, pajama-wearing Sarah Connor. Or I could do the tank-top & ray ban military look. What props other than fake guns could I use, though? The dismembered head of a Terminator? This could be an option.
3. Kaylee Frye. Betcha thought that I would've said something related to Buffy, right? Nope. I'm not even going to try to relate in any way physically to Sarah Michelle Gellar or Alyson Hannigan. Plus, those aren't really costumes. More like nice(ish) clothes. Naw, Kaylee is a much better choice; she'll also be pretty easy to duplicate. A mixture of frontier-wear and Chinese-inspired clothing. I could even carry that umbrella that she had in Serenity (pilot, not movie). A cute choice, and maybe I'll meet some drunken Browncoats or something. Gotta show Firefly some love these days too!
4. Agent Dana Scully. I'd just wear my suit. This is a horrible idea. Let's move on.
5. Speaking of horrible, a Captain Hammer groupie. All that a Captain Hammer groupie would really need is a Captain Hammer t-shirt. Who wouldn't want a picture of Nathan Fillion on their shirt! Alternatively, I could go as one of the members of the Evil League of Evil. There were a few women, like Fury Leika or Snakebite or Tie-Die. I'm having way too much fun with this.
6. CARMEN SANDIEGO. It's all about the red trenchcoat & fedora & hilariously named henchmen. I think this one speaks for itself. I could find a miniature version of the Eiffel Tower and carry it around with me. This may be too broad, though. Awesome, but broad.
That's all that I can think of for now. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm open to thoughts. This may be one of the first Halloweens that I actually get excited about what I'm going to go as.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The 2008 Evil Ticket
In anticipation of the debate, here are a couple of articles that take another approach to interpreting the current political candidates.
Obama v. McCain
Biden v. Palin
That's it. Work exploded today, so this is the best I can do with regards to any sort of update. Good weekend everyone! Go watch the debate tonight!
Obama v. McCain
Biden v. Palin
That's it. Work exploded today, so this is the best I can do with regards to any sort of update. Good weekend everyone! Go watch the debate tonight!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hint: It's About a "Villain"
I need a new computer. Sooner would be better, as my current computer apparently does not want to be charged up anymore. I think I'm just going to take the hard drive out of the ole Dell so that I can keep my information somehow. I'm looking at the new Dell Inspiron 1525, and it seems like a decent deal. Also, it comes in cool new colors!
In other news, I'm still trying desperately to write something. I obliquely mentioned a while back that I'm kinda sorta trying to write a book. The idea seems strong right now, but for some reason the words aren't coming out onto the page properly anymore. I've outlined and thematacized and character sketched and all that fun stuff, but the actual story isn't coming out right. I think I'm overthinking things and being too perfectionist about it.
It's okay to make mistakes and suck. It's okay to make mistakes and suck.
I know that, brain! However, this is incredibly frustrating, because I've had this idea for the better part of a year now, and have developed it from a loose sketch of an idea into something which can possibly stand on its own merit. Of all things to possibly give me a creative bump, it was something in the movie D.E.B.S. I know! I sketched out my first ideas for the story on a train ride back from Peoria last Thanksgiving. Dr. Horrible is also similar theme-wise (which is maybe making me so afraid to try--damn you Joss Whedon). In fact, all this recent "Oh woe is me, I don't know what I want to do in life. OH, I know, I'll be a movie director and tell wonderful celluloid stories, yadda yadda yadda" stuff started because of the sudden, incredible desire to tell this one story. So, you know, best answer is to actually write a damn book.
I feel like I've been watching too much TV and getting into too big of a rut recently, as well. This blog isn't nearly as interesting as it should be for a 23 year old living in one of the biggest cities in the good ole US of A. My solution has been to read voraciously. So far, it's been reigniting the need to tell the story, but until recently, I really haven't had great inspiration.
The Sirens of Titan was really really great, and although Vonnegut is both quite deep and quirky as hell, his style isn't something that can inspire me in writing. It's amazing, but doesn't resonate with what I'm "writing." Twilight actually helped, in that it showed me how to not write a compelling book. I can learn bunches about proper characterization, plot, and development of a meaningful theme by looking at what Stephanie Meyer didn't do. Am I still being too mean to her book? Perhaps. Regardless of my personal anger towards it, the book is, after all, really only a poorly plotted bodice-ripper with no actual bodice ripping, and probably good for someone to read at a day on the beach. HOWEVER, if that thin read can inspire such a rabid (terrifying to even an unabashed Whedon fan) fanbase and make that much money, maybe my little idea can at least interest someone somewhere.
So now I'm reading 1984. YES! Not only is it changing my mood and making me more paranoid/ more obliged to express myself than ever before, but the themes of the book are keeping with slightly similar themes that my world will contain. Not to mention, it's a hell of a good read. Now if only my computer at home could work, so that I can actually start to get some ideas out, without the sheer paranoia that slacking off at work now creates.
Thank you, Winston Smith. Your defiant journaling has helped me to remember why I wanted to write in the first place. Maybe I can finally force myself to do it.
In other news, I'm still trying desperately to write something. I obliquely mentioned a while back that I'm kinda sorta trying to write a book. The idea seems strong right now, but for some reason the words aren't coming out onto the page properly anymore. I've outlined and thematacized and character sketched and all that fun stuff, but the actual story isn't coming out right. I think I'm overthinking things and being too perfectionist about it.
It's okay to make mistakes and suck. It's okay to make mistakes and suck.
I know that, brain! However, this is incredibly frustrating, because I've had this idea for the better part of a year now, and have developed it from a loose sketch of an idea into something which can possibly stand on its own merit. Of all things to possibly give me a creative bump, it was something in the movie D.E.B.S. I know! I sketched out my first ideas for the story on a train ride back from Peoria last Thanksgiving. Dr. Horrible is also similar theme-wise (which is maybe making me so afraid to try--damn you Joss Whedon). In fact, all this recent "Oh woe is me, I don't know what I want to do in life. OH, I know, I'll be a movie director and tell wonderful celluloid stories, yadda yadda yadda" stuff started because of the sudden, incredible desire to tell this one story. So, you know, best answer is to actually write a damn book.
I feel like I've been watching too much TV and getting into too big of a rut recently, as well. This blog isn't nearly as interesting as it should be for a 23 year old living in one of the biggest cities in the good ole US of A. My solution has been to read voraciously. So far, it's been reigniting the need to tell the story, but until recently, I really haven't had great inspiration.
The Sirens of Titan was really really great, and although Vonnegut is both quite deep and quirky as hell, his style isn't something that can inspire me in writing. It's amazing, but doesn't resonate with what I'm "writing." Twilight actually helped, in that it showed me how to not write a compelling book. I can learn bunches about proper characterization, plot, and development of a meaningful theme by looking at what Stephanie Meyer didn't do. Am I still being too mean to her book? Perhaps. Regardless of my personal anger towards it, the book is, after all, really only a poorly plotted bodice-ripper with no actual bodice ripping, and probably good for someone to read at a day on the beach. HOWEVER, if that thin read can inspire such a rabid (terrifying to even an unabashed Whedon fan) fanbase and make that much money, maybe my little idea can at least interest someone somewhere.
So now I'm reading 1984. YES! Not only is it changing my mood and making me more paranoid/ more obliged to express myself than ever before, but the themes of the book are keeping with slightly similar themes that my world will contain. Not to mention, it's a hell of a good read. Now if only my computer at home could work, so that I can actually start to get some ideas out, without the sheer paranoia that slacking off at work now creates.
Thank you, Winston Smith. Your defiant journaling has helped me to remember why I wanted to write in the first place. Maybe I can finally force myself to do it.
Monday, September 22, 2008
They Literally Sparkle. SPARKLE!
Okay, here's the deal: I kind of hate Twilight. To be fair, I never really thought I'd like it, but having sat through the first book, I can honestly affirm that it's not worth the hype.
Here's what I dislike about it:
1. The protagonist never has to work for a damn thing. NEVER. She is automatically (inexplicably) popular with everyone at her new school, including the mysterious hottest boy alive (or is he?!), and she can get pretty much anything she wants with remarkably little effort. Everything just kind of happens to her, which not only makes me bored with her, but does not advance the plot in any substantial way. Also, she's kind of annoying. As in, she treats everyone/everything she encounters with disdain automatically, and never seems to treat anything with proper respect as a default. I'm okay with an unlikable protagonist. It's interesting, and can be incredibly refreshing. But, I honestly think we're supposed to like her. What's worse, we're supposed to identify with her.
2. To go along with point #1, which is really like 3 points all together, the actual conflict of the book happens 375 pages in. HOLY CRAP, THAT'S BAD. The first 3/4 was total fluff. And not even believable fluff. And, on top of that, the conflict doesn't last for more than three or four chapters. Conflict is essential in driving both character and plot, so you can tell what I mean when I say that the vast majority of the story had zero conflict. Minor instances of confrontation (both physical and psychological) are taken care of almost immediately, and rarely by the protagonist herself. Blah.
3. Okay, this is the biggest one. For me, at least. The book pretty much has Victorian ideals. Edward isn't particularly charming, and worse, has completely antiquated values that are supposed to be seen as romantic and loving. Bella Swan has just thrust a new generation of women back into the 1800s, by being a supposedly smart, independent girl (inexplicably) falling in love with a jerkish, uptight, domineering guy. I don't care that he's randomly in love with you--you don't need to be protected. PROTECTED. GOD. It really doesn't help that the character of Edward is as cold as his body temperature. You know it's a bad sign when the only words to describe Edward are adjectives like "beautiful," "Adonis-like," and "statuesque." The last one I meant to mean like an actual statue. He's actually described to be hard as stone and just as cold. Not attractive. But apt in describing his personality. Good job, Bella, for telling a new generation of women that in order to be happy, they need to devote everything they have to one beautiful guy, regardless of any actual personality match, and let him tell them what to do/ protect them, oh those gentle waifs.
4. The vampires are so freakin' lame. For example, did you know that the true reason that vampires can't go out in the sunlight is because they sparkle. Like glitter in the sun. DUDE. What the hell? And they don't seem to be particularly threatening (at least so far in the series). Edward always talks about the drawbacks of being a vampire which, so far, seem to be the painful death/rebirth. Seriously? My favorite monster deserves so much better than that.
So that's my deal. I agree with one particular review I read where the reviewer said that it basically read like fluffy fanfiction. Totally. I mean, I do understand the appeal, and that's why I'm so upset--it had potential. Vampire love stories/romantic versions of vampires/ism are totally my bread and butter. I read Anne Rice's books (before she became born-again and renounced poor Lestat) and loved them. Lestat was an amazingly romantic/tragic vampire figure, with a teenage girl following. But at least those were well-written, regardless of soft-core pornographic influences.
[ETA: Perhaps the later books are deeper/better, but I don't care to find out. The actual reviews seem to indicate that they get worse as the series goes on, and I'll go along with that.]
I have to say, reading this after watching Buffy (I KNOW, I PROMISED NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE, BUT THIS IS RELEVANT. I'll stop yelling now...) makes me kind of uncomfortable. Buffy was a phenomenal role model for girls, even when she got all doe-eyed over attractive vampire men; this is because she always stayed true to herself and fought for her voice. It didn't matter that she is physically strong and "the chosen one," because we can identify with her personality--which is that of a very teenage girl. She goes through pain and heartache and dealing with jackass vampire boyfriends, but faces it head on and comes out stronger for it. I love Buffy for that. Bella Swan does nothing for me. I sincerely fear for girls who think that Bella Swan is a more relatable character than Buffy Summers.
To end this rant to end all rants, here is one webcomic that NAILS my thoughts on the book: Twilight Sucks.
Here's what I dislike about it:
1. The protagonist never has to work for a damn thing. NEVER. She is automatically (inexplicably) popular with everyone at her new school, including the mysterious hottest boy alive (or is he?!), and she can get pretty much anything she wants with remarkably little effort. Everything just kind of happens to her, which not only makes me bored with her, but does not advance the plot in any substantial way. Also, she's kind of annoying. As in, she treats everyone/everything she encounters with disdain automatically, and never seems to treat anything with proper respect as a default. I'm okay with an unlikable protagonist. It's interesting, and can be incredibly refreshing. But, I honestly think we're supposed to like her. What's worse, we're supposed to identify with her.
2. To go along with point #1, which is really like 3 points all together, the actual conflict of the book happens 375 pages in. HOLY CRAP, THAT'S BAD. The first 3/4 was total fluff. And not even believable fluff. And, on top of that, the conflict doesn't last for more than three or four chapters. Conflict is essential in driving both character and plot, so you can tell what I mean when I say that the vast majority of the story had zero conflict. Minor instances of confrontation (both physical and psychological) are taken care of almost immediately, and rarely by the protagonist herself. Blah.
3. Okay, this is the biggest one. For me, at least. The book pretty much has Victorian ideals. Edward isn't particularly charming, and worse, has completely antiquated values that are supposed to be seen as romantic and loving. Bella Swan has just thrust a new generation of women back into the 1800s, by being a supposedly smart, independent girl (inexplicably) falling in love with a jerkish, uptight, domineering guy. I don't care that he's randomly in love with you--you don't need to be protected. PROTECTED. GOD. It really doesn't help that the character of Edward is as cold as his body temperature. You know it's a bad sign when the only words to describe Edward are adjectives like "beautiful," "Adonis-like," and "statuesque." The last one I meant to mean like an actual statue. He's actually described to be hard as stone and just as cold. Not attractive. But apt in describing his personality. Good job, Bella, for telling a new generation of women that in order to be happy, they need to devote everything they have to one beautiful guy, regardless of any actual personality match, and let him tell them what to do/ protect them, oh those gentle waifs.
4. The vampires are so freakin' lame. For example, did you know that the true reason that vampires can't go out in the sunlight is because they sparkle. Like glitter in the sun. DUDE. What the hell? And they don't seem to be particularly threatening (at least so far in the series). Edward always talks about the drawbacks of being a vampire which, so far, seem to be the painful death/rebirth. Seriously? My favorite monster deserves so much better than that.
So that's my deal. I agree with one particular review I read where the reviewer said that it basically read like fluffy fanfiction. Totally. I mean, I do understand the appeal, and that's why I'm so upset--it had potential. Vampire love stories/romantic versions of vampires/ism are totally my bread and butter. I read Anne Rice's books (before she became born-again and renounced poor Lestat) and loved them. Lestat was an amazingly romantic/tragic vampire figure, with a teenage girl following. But at least those were well-written, regardless of soft-core pornographic influences.
[ETA: Perhaps the later books are deeper/better, but I don't care to find out. The actual reviews seem to indicate that they get worse as the series goes on, and I'll go along with that.]
I have to say, reading this after watching Buffy (I KNOW, I PROMISED NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE, BUT THIS IS RELEVANT. I'll stop yelling now...) makes me kind of uncomfortable. Buffy was a phenomenal role model for girls, even when she got all doe-eyed over attractive vampire men; this is because she always stayed true to herself and fought for her voice. It didn't matter that she is physically strong and "the chosen one," because we can identify with her personality--which is that of a very teenage girl. She goes through pain and heartache and dealing with jackass vampire boyfriends, but faces it head on and comes out stronger for it. I love Buffy for that. Bella Swan does nothing for me. I sincerely fear for girls who think that Bella Swan is a more relatable character than Buffy Summers.
To end this rant to end all rants, here is one webcomic that NAILS my thoughts on the book: Twilight Sucks.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Hee
Have I mentioned recently how Tina Fey is my hero? Amazing.
I'm never going to stop wearing glasses like these.
I'm never going to stop wearing glasses like these.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Why I love The Office Woo! September 25th for the premiere! Excitement!
I still can't figure out how to embed videos from youtube in my blog posts. It's incredibly frustrating, as this post would've been much cooler if it were the actual video. Bah.
Oh, and I think I've spoiled myself as to who I think will win Project Runway this season. Since Twitter is the new thing that all the cool kids are doing these days, the guys at Project Rungay have been twittering from the Bryant Park runway show. Although, I thought I knew last season too, and changed my mind when I actually saw the episode. Maybe technology isn't the greatest thing in the world after all. I should just shut up and watch the damn show, shouldn't I?
Also, I love A Softer World. I always end up forgetting about it for the longest time, but then remember randomly, and have a wonderful time catching up in the archive. Twisted humor/touching moments at their very best.
Have a good weekend, y'all.
I still can't figure out how to embed videos from youtube in my blog posts. It's incredibly frustrating, as this post would've been much cooler if it were the actual video. Bah.
Oh, and I think I've spoiled myself as to who I think will win Project Runway this season. Since Twitter is the new thing that all the cool kids are doing these days, the guys at Project Rungay have been twittering from the Bryant Park runway show. Although, I thought I knew last season too, and changed my mind when I actually saw the episode. Maybe technology isn't the greatest thing in the world after all. I should just shut up and watch the damn show, shouldn't I?
Also, I love A Softer World. I always end up forgetting about it for the longest time, but then remember randomly, and have a wonderful time catching up in the archive. Twisted humor/touching moments at their very best.
Have a good weekend, y'all.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Media Alert!
Since I know everyone is so interested in my thoughts about what I am reading/watching/making up, here's an update on stuff! Yay vague stuff!
I recently read The Sirens of Titan by Vonnegut. One of the Vonnegut books that I haven't read so far. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. This is a perfect example of how Vonnegut can create fun light-hearted fiction, with wonderful undercurrents of societal/religious commentary. Very interesting stuff. I am looking forward to rereading it, which is something I haven't gotten to say in a while. I came out feeling much better for humanity, which is always a plus.
To provide a stark contrast, I'm finally reading Twilight. Let me preface this by saying that I am already biased against the book(s), based upon particular fan reactions as well as interviews I've read. I'm reading it out of sheer curiousity, though. So far, I understand why people like it, but I also understand why I probably won't. I'm honestly trying to give it a chance, but it just may not happen. Sorry, fans! Maybe I'll secretly fall for it, but right now I'm just feeling "ehn." I'm sure I'll have a much more pretentious rant about this later.
On the silver screen, I managed to watch most of the premiere of Fringe last night. So far, I'm getting that this is a combination of The X-Files and Lost. I mean, that makes sense since it's made by the guy who created Lost. Eh, it could have potential, or just be really confusing and bad. Like the later seasons of The X-Files. No Mulder and Scully, though, so the potential of the idea of the show isn't as high. Eh, I'll try to watch it, probably DVR it, but not need to watch it live. This is what I'm guessing. Investigating supernatural events just doesn't have the same flair if it's not in the woods of Canada.
I think that's pretty much it. Project Runway tonight. I'm warming up to this season. And actually starting to like a few of the designers. Is it just me or is the female talent pool this season significantly better than the male talent pool? Certainly at this point, I think. Get ready for that move to Lifetime, everybody!
I think I need to figure out when my favorite tv shows are coming back to the air, or I'll completely miss them. I actually caught some of the new 90210 show just because it was something new on TV. THIS IS PROBLEMATIC. I need my Office fix, as well as Pushing Daisies, The Riches, and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. And probably a few more that I'm forgetting. I can't remember what original programming felt like. Well, that isn't a reality tv show. PLEASE MAKE ME STOP WATCHING THEM.
Okay, have to go, as I am very busy and important.
I recently read The Sirens of Titan by Vonnegut. One of the Vonnegut books that I haven't read so far. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. This is a perfect example of how Vonnegut can create fun light-hearted fiction, with wonderful undercurrents of societal/religious commentary. Very interesting stuff. I am looking forward to rereading it, which is something I haven't gotten to say in a while. I came out feeling much better for humanity, which is always a plus.
To provide a stark contrast, I'm finally reading Twilight. Let me preface this by saying that I am already biased against the book(s), based upon particular fan reactions as well as interviews I've read. I'm reading it out of sheer curiousity, though. So far, I understand why people like it, but I also understand why I probably won't. I'm honestly trying to give it a chance, but it just may not happen. Sorry, fans! Maybe I'll secretly fall for it, but right now I'm just feeling "ehn." I'm sure I'll have a much more pretentious rant about this later.
On the silver screen, I managed to watch most of the premiere of Fringe last night. So far, I'm getting that this is a combination of The X-Files and Lost. I mean, that makes sense since it's made by the guy who created Lost. Eh, it could have potential, or just be really confusing and bad. Like the later seasons of The X-Files. No Mulder and Scully, though, so the potential of the idea of the show isn't as high. Eh, I'll try to watch it, probably DVR it, but not need to watch it live. This is what I'm guessing. Investigating supernatural events just doesn't have the same flair if it's not in the woods of Canada.
I think that's pretty much it. Project Runway tonight. I'm warming up to this season. And actually starting to like a few of the designers. Is it just me or is the female talent pool this season significantly better than the male talent pool? Certainly at this point, I think. Get ready for that move to Lifetime, everybody!
I think I need to figure out when my favorite tv shows are coming back to the air, or I'll completely miss them. I actually caught some of the new 90210 show just because it was something new on TV. THIS IS PROBLEMATIC. I need my Office fix, as well as Pushing Daisies, The Riches, and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. And probably a few more that I'm forgetting. I can't remember what original programming felt like. Well, that isn't a reality tv show. PLEASE MAKE ME STOP WATCHING THEM.
Okay, have to go, as I am very busy and important.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Excuse Me, I Have to Wash the Tool out of My Hair
Okay, so I just had a very interesting interaction at the bus stop on my way back from work. Here it is in its entirety. Italics represent my thoughts, but you could've probably figured that out for yourself. Behold how my foot sinks further and further into my mouth!
La la la. Waiting for the bus stop. Oh, that's a person I recognize. She was in my graduating class. Oh crap, what was her name? Is she one of those people who will make a point to not acknowledge me, because we both went to the U of C, or really friendly because of it? Oh god, don't look, don't look. Pretend you're looking at the street for the bus. You're not creepily observant, no siree. Oh shoot, she's coming up to me. Waving! She's waving now. What'shernamewhat'shernamewhat'shername? She's here. Quick, pretend you didn't see her until this very moment!
Me: Hi! How's it going?
Classmate I can't remember: Hi, do you remember me? We went to the University of Chicago together.
What'shernamewhat'shernamewhat'shername?
Me: Of course! How are you? I didn't see you. Liar.
Classmate I can't remember: Yeah, you're Cristina from San Antonio, right?
Crap.
Me: Um, yeah that's right...
I can't believe we don't remember her name. She was in that thing that we did before school started. She was nice. God, WHAT IS HER NAME? Why can you remember Buffy's middle name, and you're blanking on who this real person is? You're never going to be able to improvise, so you better fess up.
Me: Um, I'm really sorry, but I don't remember your...
Classmate I can't remember: Melissa.
Oh YEAH. We had that thing together.
[At this point in the narrative, the part of the Classmate I can't remember will be played by Melissa, whom I marginally remember.]
Me: Oh yeah we had uhm...
Melissa: HUM together.
Me: Right. HUM. YES! THAT'S RIGHT.
Oh, god, would you look at yourself? Why are you practically yelling at her? Overcompensate much? Oh yeah, keep gesticulating wildly, 'cause you don't look like a massive tool at all.
Me: So how are you?
You've said that like five times now, seriously. Is that my bus? Please let that be my bus.
Melissa: Good. So, are you still living in Chicago?
Me: Yeah, I work right there in that building.
Melissa: Which one?
Me: That one. The one I'm pointing at.
Okay, finally she's looking in the right place. Oh, I think she's still talking. I can't hear her. God, what if she's asking me something? Oh, she's done now. SMILE AND NOD. SMILE AND NOD.
Melissa: You went to the reunion thing a few months ago, right?
Me: Yeah, it was fun.
Melissa: Yeah, I saw you there. I wanted to say hi, but didn't get the chance to.
Me: Oh, yeah, it was crazy crowded.
Okay, now you've created an awkward silence. Quick be funny, or self-depricating, or clever. GOD, WHAT USE ARE YOU?
Melissa: Well, I have to go to the gym now. But I just wanted to say hi, because it was so nice to see a familiar face.
Me: Yes! So nice! It was really nice to see you too.
And she's walking off now. I think we just had a sitcom moment. A bad sitcom moment. You're kind of a dick. You know that, right? When's the damn bus getting here?
La la la. Waiting for the bus stop. Oh, that's a person I recognize. She was in my graduating class. Oh crap, what was her name? Is she one of those people who will make a point to not acknowledge me, because we both went to the U of C, or really friendly because of it? Oh god, don't look, don't look. Pretend you're looking at the street for the bus. You're not creepily observant, no siree. Oh shoot, she's coming up to me. Waving! She's waving now. What'shernamewhat'shernamewhat'shername? She's here. Quick, pretend you didn't see her until this very moment!
Me: Hi! How's it going?
Classmate I can't remember: Hi, do you remember me? We went to the University of Chicago together.
What'shernamewhat'shernamewhat'shername?
Me: Of course! How are you? I didn't see you. Liar.
Classmate I can't remember: Yeah, you're Cristina from San Antonio, right?
Crap.
Me: Um, yeah that's right...
I can't believe we don't remember her name. She was in that thing that we did before school started. She was nice. God, WHAT IS HER NAME? Why can you remember Buffy's middle name, and you're blanking on who this real person is? You're never going to be able to improvise, so you better fess up.
Me: Um, I'm really sorry, but I don't remember your...
Classmate I can't remember: Melissa.
Oh YEAH. We had that thing together.
[At this point in the narrative, the part of the Classmate I can't remember will be played by Melissa, whom I marginally remember.]
Me: Oh yeah we had uhm...
Melissa: HUM together.
Me: Right. HUM. YES! THAT'S RIGHT.
Oh, god, would you look at yourself? Why are you practically yelling at her? Overcompensate much? Oh yeah, keep gesticulating wildly, 'cause you don't look like a massive tool at all.
Me: So how are you?
You've said that like five times now, seriously. Is that my bus? Please let that be my bus.
Melissa: Good. So, are you still living in Chicago?
Me: Yeah, I work right there in that building.
Melissa: Which one?
Me: That one. The one I'm pointing at.
Okay, finally she's looking in the right place. Oh, I think she's still talking. I can't hear her. God, what if she's asking me something? Oh, she's done now. SMILE AND NOD. SMILE AND NOD.
Melissa: You went to the reunion thing a few months ago, right?
Me: Yeah, it was fun.
Melissa: Yeah, I saw you there. I wanted to say hi, but didn't get the chance to.
Me: Oh, yeah, it was crazy crowded.
Okay, now you've created an awkward silence. Quick be funny, or self-depricating, or clever. GOD, WHAT USE ARE YOU?
Melissa: Well, I have to go to the gym now. But I just wanted to say hi, because it was so nice to see a familiar face.
Me: Yes! So nice! It was really nice to see you too.
And she's walking off now. I think we just had a sitcom moment. A bad sitcom moment. You're kind of a dick. You know that, right? When's the damn bus getting here?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Additional Awesomeness
As a PS other other other other thing, check it.
I just found this movie test, and it's by far one of the more creative ones I've ever played.
Here, give it a whirl: http://www.stationerymovies.com/
I originally got 14/20, which I'm pretty proud of, since I haven't seen many of the movies.
Kay, go about your business now.
I just found this movie test, and it's by far one of the more creative ones I've ever played.
Here, give it a whirl: http://www.stationerymovies.com/
I originally got 14/20, which I'm pretty proud of, since I haven't seen many of the movies.
Kay, go about your business now.
OMG NEW POST
I swear that I will never use "omg" again in my life. And if I do, someone please point it out, because I'm sure my look of horror will be quite amusing.
I haven't felt too talky recently, and I guess that's okay. And, yesterday, after my landlady finally informed me that my August rent check bounced (which I was expecting--also, just in time for September rent, which makes me oh-so-happy), I confirmed that yes, I will be renewing my lease. For the box. I guess I only have myself to blame, since I shut myself off during the crucial apartment finding weeks. I also really, really didn't want to actually move. I'm okay with it, but eh. Just eh. After I get the rent thing situated, I think I'm going to try to fix up the apartment to try to make it feel less dorm-like and more like a place that I can actually comfortably live in. Some organization would be nice as well, and would go a long way towards helping me feel like a real person.
In other news, Gus is turning into a dog. He now demands belly rubs. Frequently. Whenever I come home, grumbling from a long day's work, he gives me a plaintive meow and flops himself upside down on the ground. I don't really know how this started, but I really like it. He's getting to be a very sweet cat, and isn't nearly as neurotic as I thought he'd end up being. Nubs, meanwhile, is getting just plain weird, which I'm sure is my influence entirely. She now has a favorite creepy hobby: watching me brush my teeth. I swear, every morning and every evening, whenever I go to brush my teeth she tears across the apartment, jumps on the toilet, and stares at me. I'm not even exaggerating. I wonder what's so fascinating about my teeth. Maybe she's trying to tell me that I should schedule a dentist's appointment. Naw, it's probably just "Hey. You. Get me my shiny mouse from under the table." They're good people, those cats.
In other other news, WHY DON'T I OWN THIS T-SHIRT? I may have to go to the Threadless store this weekend or something. Oh, and to finish up the Buffy talk (which I'm now totally done with, by the way) I took a pretty involved Buffy personality test last week, and I'm totally Willow! A. Awesome, she's always been my favorite character, since I was, like, 12! B. I REALLY AM SO WILLOW. C. I guess this means all y'all better, uh, watch out? When I eventually snap, I'm going to SNAP. Maybe a vacation is in order.
In other other other news, I'm writing a book! Or, well, trying that is. More on this to follow, but I've got a pretty solid idea, and am now trying to get past the writer's block/horrible numbing fear of failure. Wish me luck!
I haven't felt too talky recently, and I guess that's okay. And, yesterday, after my landlady finally informed me that my August rent check bounced (which I was expecting--also, just in time for September rent, which makes me oh-so-happy), I confirmed that yes, I will be renewing my lease. For the box. I guess I only have myself to blame, since I shut myself off during the crucial apartment finding weeks. I also really, really didn't want to actually move. I'm okay with it, but eh. Just eh. After I get the rent thing situated, I think I'm going to try to fix up the apartment to try to make it feel less dorm-like and more like a place that I can actually comfortably live in. Some organization would be nice as well, and would go a long way towards helping me feel like a real person.
In other news, Gus is turning into a dog. He now demands belly rubs. Frequently. Whenever I come home, grumbling from a long day's work, he gives me a plaintive meow and flops himself upside down on the ground. I don't really know how this started, but I really like it. He's getting to be a very sweet cat, and isn't nearly as neurotic as I thought he'd end up being. Nubs, meanwhile, is getting just plain weird, which I'm sure is my influence entirely. She now has a favorite creepy hobby: watching me brush my teeth. I swear, every morning and every evening, whenever I go to brush my teeth she tears across the apartment, jumps on the toilet, and stares at me. I'm not even exaggerating. I wonder what's so fascinating about my teeth. Maybe she's trying to tell me that I should schedule a dentist's appointment. Naw, it's probably just "Hey. You. Get me my shiny mouse from under the table." They're good people, those cats.
In other other news, WHY DON'T I OWN THIS T-SHIRT? I may have to go to the Threadless store this weekend or something. Oh, and to finish up the Buffy talk (which I'm now totally done with, by the way) I took a pretty involved Buffy personality test last week, and I'm totally Willow! A. Awesome, she's always been my favorite character, since I was, like, 12! B. I REALLY AM SO WILLOW. C. I guess this means all y'all better, uh, watch out? When I eventually snap, I'm going to SNAP. Maybe a vacation is in order.
In other other other news, I'm writing a book! Or, well, trying that is. More on this to follow, but I've got a pretty solid idea, and am now trying to get past the writer's block/horrible numbing fear of failure. Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Your Logic is Insane and Happenstance, Like that of a Troll
I was going to write a mournful blog posting about how my apartment hates me and wants me to suffer as much as humanly possible; however, since seeing a psychic on Sunday, and having to deal with a CRAZY MAD RUSH OF WORK here, I'm pretty much over that. By the by, I totally took out my bag o' runes on Monday morning before work, and asked what the day would be like (as ya do), pulling out one rune randomly to represent what would be going on in the day. The one I took out means "thorn" and is used to represent intense struggle or conflict that a person would expect to go through. Later on at work I put in 55 files in the database (normally, I put in fewer than 5 a day) and then we got 8 MASSIVELY HIGH PRIORITY files that needed to be dealt with immediately. Needless to say, it has been a stressful situation here. I guess that reinforced my belief in what the psychic told me, cause apparently the forces of nature are trying to beat something into my head. Cool.
In other news, I finally finished my impressive marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer a couple of days ago. I think it had a damn good ending, and I gotta admit, I got a little misty eyed during the emotional climax. The ending was very successful in keeping with the themes that the show has reinforced since the pilot. Many fans hated the finale, but I thought it worked really well and had a wonderful emotional payoff. Afterwards, I immediately watched the commentaries on the first two episodes, and it was so crazy. The show changed so much in seven years, in terms of character development and scope, and going back to the beginning again was quite jarring. And also, quite cool. Some episodes (and seasons **cough6cough**) were misses, but overall, it's still one of the best shows I've ever seen. I know I've been heavy with the Joss love recently, but damn can that man write. In a single episode he can make you all melty with the romance, then laugh at the funny, then rip your still-happy heart out of your chest. I'm so looking forward to Dollhouse just to see what new stuff he can pull out of his magic hat. (Actually, let me say that there are some things I don't agree with in his writing--namely that nobody can ever actually be happy. I know that's how drama is created, but it seems like he's gotten too predictable about how he treats relationships; basically, once characters start being happy together, something horrible is going to happen to one of them. He can't not do it. Whatever, he's still one of the best people at crafting compelling stories, and I'll watch and enjoy anything he creates.)
As an interesting segue, I think I've made a new friend in my building. I've always been friendly with people in the building, and have had many talks in the elevator, but ever since losing both the power and the water, we have been as kin. United in some unholy war against the elements. Bitching about being unable to go to work. It's been fun. But I've chit-chatted with this girl before, and she seems pretty similar to me in general. She's on my floor, so I catch her going to the elevator sometimes, and we chat about stupid stuff. I mentioned I just rewatched all of Buffy and she got really excited. Turns out she does it pretty regularly, and sees nothing wrong with my Joss-love. I think we could be friends. If I see her again sometime soon, I may invite her to hang out, since I don't know too many people on the north side still. It would be nice to have a geeky pal who lives near me (as in down the hall!).
In other news, I finally finished my impressive marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer a couple of days ago. I think it had a damn good ending, and I gotta admit, I got a little misty eyed during the emotional climax. The ending was very successful in keeping with the themes that the show has reinforced since the pilot. Many fans hated the finale, but I thought it worked really well and had a wonderful emotional payoff. Afterwards, I immediately watched the commentaries on the first two episodes, and it was so crazy. The show changed so much in seven years, in terms of character development and scope, and going back to the beginning again was quite jarring. And also, quite cool. Some episodes (and seasons **cough6cough**) were misses, but overall, it's still one of the best shows I've ever seen. I know I've been heavy with the Joss love recently, but damn can that man write. In a single episode he can make you all melty with the romance, then laugh at the funny, then rip your still-happy heart out of your chest. I'm so looking forward to Dollhouse just to see what new stuff he can pull out of his magic hat. (Actually, let me say that there are some things I don't agree with in his writing--namely that nobody can ever actually be happy. I know that's how drama is created, but it seems like he's gotten too predictable about how he treats relationships; basically, once characters start being happy together, something horrible is going to happen to one of them. He can't not do it. Whatever, he's still one of the best people at crafting compelling stories, and I'll watch and enjoy anything he creates.)
As an interesting segue, I think I've made a new friend in my building. I've always been friendly with people in the building, and have had many talks in the elevator, but ever since losing both the power and the water, we have been as kin. United in some unholy war against the elements. Bitching about being unable to go to work. It's been fun. But I've chit-chatted with this girl before, and she seems pretty similar to me in general. She's on my floor, so I catch her going to the elevator sometimes, and we chat about stupid stuff. I mentioned I just rewatched all of Buffy and she got really excited. Turns out she does it pretty regularly, and sees nothing wrong with my Joss-love. I think we could be friends. If I see her again sometime soon, I may invite her to hang out, since I don't know too many people on the north side still. It would be nice to have a geeky pal who lives near me (as in down the hall!).
Friday, August 1, 2008
I'm Getting Sicker by the Hour
Can y'all believe it's already August? I can't. Where has this summer gone? I didn't do anything fun outside. At all. I guess there's still time, but I am slightly disheartened by the fact I am so capable of wasting opportunities. Let's go to the zoo!
In the meanwhile, I've taken to creeping myself out at work. I've already mentioned TV Tropes, which has all sorts of trope definitions and examples from different sorts of media, as well as real life. They're usually written in a fairly entertaining manner, as well, which often leads to hours of wasted time giggling to myself in front of my computer. My coworkers probably think I'm completely insane.
And, I kind of am, as I've taken to creeping myself the hell out through certain aspects of this website called: Rule of Scary, Nightmare Fuel, Nightmare Fuel Unleaded, And I Must Scream, and the wonderful examples provided in Nightmare Valley (Uncanny Valley taken to its creepiest extreme.) The video on my Facebook page is actually one of the examples of Nightmare Fuel that I particularly enjoyed. Remember, it was made for children. Reading about them isn't bad enough to creep a person out, but lots of the examples link to Youtube clips (like the above example) and links to pictures. Plenty of quotes too. An example of Nightmare Fuel they provide is a chilling (for me at least) description of the ReDeads in The Legend of Zelda, and what they do to you. They were one of the reasons I used to have such trouble playing those games.
To make a long story short (too late!) I've been saturated in creepiness to the point where it's spilling over into my real life. When I got lunch today, I went to the Thompson Center on Lake. To get to the food court from my building, I have to go down a really slow escalator, and the air gets more stale and hot the further you go down. You have to pass through run down revolving doors to get to the food court area. My first thought when I went down the escalators was "huh, this would be a great place for a lunchtime zombie outbreak." Seriously. So many people in an underground space. Then, access to the outdoors through escalators leading through the building, which is the home base of countless businesses. You could probably infect most of downtown in a manner of hours.
Maybe I need to get outside more, is all I'm saying.
In the meanwhile, I've taken to creeping myself out at work. I've already mentioned TV Tropes, which has all sorts of trope definitions and examples from different sorts of media, as well as real life. They're usually written in a fairly entertaining manner, as well, which often leads to hours of wasted time giggling to myself in front of my computer. My coworkers probably think I'm completely insane.
And, I kind of am, as I've taken to creeping myself the hell out through certain aspects of this website called: Rule of Scary, Nightmare Fuel, Nightmare Fuel Unleaded, And I Must Scream, and the wonderful examples provided in Nightmare Valley (Uncanny Valley taken to its creepiest extreme.) The video on my Facebook page is actually one of the examples of Nightmare Fuel that I particularly enjoyed. Remember, it was made for children. Reading about them isn't bad enough to creep a person out, but lots of the examples link to Youtube clips (like the above example) and links to pictures. Plenty of quotes too. An example of Nightmare Fuel they provide is a chilling (for me at least) description of the ReDeads in The Legend of Zelda, and what they do to you. They were one of the reasons I used to have such trouble playing those games.
To make a long story short (too late!) I've been saturated in creepiness to the point where it's spilling over into my real life. When I got lunch today, I went to the Thompson Center on Lake. To get to the food court from my building, I have to go down a really slow escalator, and the air gets more stale and hot the further you go down. You have to pass through run down revolving doors to get to the food court area. My first thought when I went down the escalators was "huh, this would be a great place for a lunchtime zombie outbreak." Seriously. So many people in an underground space. Then, access to the outdoors through escalators leading through the building, which is the home base of countless businesses. You could probably infect most of downtown in a manner of hours.
Maybe I need to get outside more, is all I'm saying.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Whiny McWhinerson
I've been having a not too happy summer. I don't really know why, but I've been in a funk for, like, a month. No real cause for it, but this malaise (post-college malaise perhaps? Alex?) has been settling gradually over the weeks. Maybe it's due to the fact that it's nice outside and I'm cooped up in an office building doing pointless busywork, since we've run out of meaningful busywork. Maybe it's due to the fact that I've been having more money issues than ever before. Maybe it's because my great-aunt has been slowly dying of lung cancer and just passed away last Friday.
Well, whatever the case, I've been shutting down a bit more than normal recently, and I need to cut it out. Mainly because I totally stopped working out. I haven't been pushing myself in the gym as much, and I haven't actually run in weeks. So, this has turned into a cycle of self-abuse. I feel down, so I don't want to go work out, so I don't get endorphins regularly coming in, so I get really out of shape, so I feel even worse. I've been going through endorphin withdrawal! The remedy has been Netflix and ordering in. Not good for my wallet or my health! And when I got Buffy, I've just been watching that and eating ice cream. Not that there's anything wrong with Buffy and ice cream, but I have to be active as well.
I actually realized this over the weekend, and have now managed to run my old pace on Monday and yesterday. This has been really hard to get back into, since I managed to get so out of shape. Tuesday I did some stairstepper (cop out!) and lifted a little. I'm seeing Joel on Sunday, and I'm a little scared. Not only is he going to kick my ass more than normal, but I feel bad about letting him down. I guess I've become one of those cliched people, or clichle, who wants to make her trainer proud. Damn my abusive relationship!
Also, I need to seriously clean my apartment. I wouldn't be surprised if people think I'm actually depressed from the way it looks.
Okay, so that's me. I'm already feeling better, and hopefully I'll be able to stick this one out. In the meantime, here's something happy:
Where the Hell is Matt?
I guess I'm slow on the uptake, because I'd never heard of him before this morning. That was pretty cool.
Well, whatever the case, I've been shutting down a bit more than normal recently, and I need to cut it out. Mainly because I totally stopped working out. I haven't been pushing myself in the gym as much, and I haven't actually run in weeks. So, this has turned into a cycle of self-abuse. I feel down, so I don't want to go work out, so I don't get endorphins regularly coming in, so I get really out of shape, so I feel even worse. I've been going through endorphin withdrawal! The remedy has been Netflix and ordering in. Not good for my wallet or my health! And when I got Buffy, I've just been watching that and eating ice cream. Not that there's anything wrong with Buffy and ice cream, but I have to be active as well.
I actually realized this over the weekend, and have now managed to run my old pace on Monday and yesterday. This has been really hard to get back into, since I managed to get so out of shape. Tuesday I did some stairstepper (cop out!) and lifted a little. I'm seeing Joel on Sunday, and I'm a little scared. Not only is he going to kick my ass more than normal, but I feel bad about letting him down. I guess I've become one of those cliched people, or clichle, who wants to make her trainer proud. Damn my abusive relationship!
Also, I need to seriously clean my apartment. I wouldn't be surprised if people think I'm actually depressed from the way it looks.
Okay, so that's me. I'm already feeling better, and hopefully I'll be able to stick this one out. In the meantime, here's something happy:
Where the Hell is Matt?
I guess I'm slow on the uptake, because I'd never heard of him before this morning. That was pretty cool.
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