Whiny McWhinerson

I've been having a not too happy summer. I don't really know why, but I've been in a funk for, like, a month. No real cause for it, but this malaise (post-college malaise perhaps? Alex?) has been settling gradually over the weeks. Maybe it's due to the fact that it's nice outside and I'm cooped up in an office building doing pointless busywork, since we've run out of meaningful busywork. Maybe it's due to the fact that I've been having more money issues than ever before. Maybe it's because my great-aunt has been slowly dying of lung cancer and just passed away last Friday.

Well, whatever the case, I've been shutting down a bit more than normal recently, and I need to cut it out. Mainly because I totally stopped working out. I haven't been pushing myself in the gym as much, and I haven't actually run in weeks. So, this has turned into a cycle of self-abuse. I feel down, so I don't want to go work out, so I don't get endorphins regularly coming in, so I get really out of shape, so I feel even worse. I've been going through endorphin withdrawal! The remedy has been Netflix and ordering in. Not good for my wallet or my health! And when I got Buffy, I've just been watching that and eating ice cream. Not that there's anything wrong with Buffy and ice cream, but I have to be active as well.

I actually realized this over the weekend, and have now managed to run my old pace on Monday and yesterday. This has been really hard to get back into, since I managed to get so out of shape. Tuesday I did some stairstepper (cop out!) and lifted a little. I'm seeing Joel on Sunday, and I'm a little scared. Not only is he going to kick my ass more than normal, but I feel bad about letting him down. I guess I've become one of those cliched people, or clichle, who wants to make her trainer proud. Damn my abusive relationship!

Also, I need to seriously clean my apartment. I wouldn't be surprised if people think I'm actually depressed from the way it looks.

Okay, so that's me. I'm already feeling better, and hopefully I'll be able to stick this one out. In the meantime, here's something happy:

Where the Hell is Matt?

I guess I'm slow on the uptake, because I'd never heard of him before this morning. That was pretty cool.