God Hollywood, Stop Sucking So Bad

I'm a creature of habit, as many of you know. I like to go home after a long day's work, play with the cats, surf the 'net (IF I EVER GET MY NEW COMPUTER), maybe pop some corn and catch up with my stories.

I have shows that I regularly watch and a few others that I'm just beginning to get into. For me, television is a necessary component in unwinding after a tiring [read:boring] day. I need something to grip me, or else I'll just slip into a stupor. Reading is great (especially for the bus rides), but sometimes I need to see the story. And there are some great ones out there.

Let me take this opportunity to thank the studios for finally paying their writers what they deserve, because some of the cleverest writing out there is on TV. I mean, it really makes sense, if you think about it: TV writers have to cram a full story into either 1 hour or 30 minutes. The dialogue has to be crisp and clever, and the story has to progress efficiently, with just enough left hanging to keep the viewer coming back for more next week. I like TV, okay.

I like certain shows, too. They may not always be the "best" shows on TV, but they normally have something fun to hook me with. Like Summer Glau. Speaking of Terminator: TSCC, I'm worried. I think they're going to cancel the show this season, because the ratings aren't that great. Okay, so it's the Terminator TV show. I get that people might think that's ridiculous. But, I actually really like it. Not only is it full of fun action sequences, but it's really secretly a heartwarming family show. With killer robots! And I fear for its safety. I really hope Fox doesn't pull the plug soon, but I think it's going to happen.

Pushing Daisies is adorable. It may push every boundary of realism, and be kind of sugary sweet, but it completely embraces it. It's so damn cute, and the stories are so bizarre and over the top that it actually really works. It's like if Tim Burton decided, "Hell with it, I'm producing something CHEERFUL." According to a headline I just read (which inspired this whole post), more people are watching Knight Rider, which is a horrific remake of a sci-fi TV show **coughbionicwomancough**. Really? That show doesn't even look fun, for all its flashy special effects. I don't think I have to worry about this show yet, but I'm more on edge than I want to be.

The Riches is officially cancelled. That really sucks, but I'm not surprised. FX didn't give it a good chance, and I think the Writer's Strike killed it, as the past season seemed really rushed and random. That's really a shame, because it was an interesting concept and I really enjoyed watching Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver onscreen together.

Thank god for new pleasures. I'm always late in the game with certain shows, since my curiosity for them is inevitably killed by approximately 200 people ordering me to check out this particular TV show. I'm sure it's wonderful, but you sound like a crazy person. Don't you talk about "glass houses" to me! Stop it. There's a reason that I haven't actually watched The Wire yet. Anyway, I finally broke down and watched a House marathon on USA, and okay, crazy people, it's a really good procedural. And a breath of fresh air from the currently stale medical dramas and L&O. Hugh Laurie is kind of amazing, and I do have lots of fun playing "what else was he/she in?" with the guest stars. Seriously good guest stars. And did I mention Hugh Laurie? This is a good show to sit and watch if you have an hour to kill.

I'm finally watching Mad Men as well. And, AND, I watched it before it won the Emmy. Check my Twitter feed if you don't believe me. It's so good that I've got a series recording of it set up on my DVR. I don't do that for any other show. Even the shows that I actually do regularly record. Amazing cast (including the incredible Christina Hendricks AKA YoSaffBridge from Firefly), compelling scripts (Marti Noxon just joined the writing staff for anyone who might know who she is), and set/wardrobe to die for. I highly recommend it, although be warned, it's not a fast moving show, and you have to pay attention to details. I'm incredibly impressed that it actually won the Emmy, as it's not the flashiest show out there. But it certainly deserved it, in my point of view. Hollywood done good. Even though I read another headline somewhere that more people watch that horrible Scott Baio show than probably even know what Mad Men is. That's appalling, but I believe it.

Thankfully I've also got shows like The Office and 30 Rock (when it eventually comes back) to fall back on. But other than that, I can't help but think that TV is getting really, really bad. Did y'all see the previews for Kath & Kim? Yikes. Is this what the vast majority of America wants to see? Really?

Please stop taking away the shows that I do watch, in order to cater to the loutish masses.

Please.

Fine, I'll be over here waiting patiently for Dollhouse to premiere.

What, Are the Birds Going to Explode upon Impact?

Before I get into the inevitable rant, I've been trying to access the Dr. Horrible website all morning, since the first part of the epic supervillain musical is supposed to be posted today. The site has been clogged by too much traffic ALL MORNING. I guess rabid Joss Whedon fans (Whedonites? Whedonians? Whedes?) are all flocking in droves. DROVES. Can't say I blame them, really. I've been pretty consistently trying to get on since I remembered the first act was going to be posted today. Ah well, I'll see it eventually, and probably geek out over it here.

On to more pressing matters. It has recently come to my attention that a particular movie, which I enjoy highly in its original form, is being remade. That's right, Alfred Hitchcock's avian thriller, The Birds, is being remade. Guess who's the Executive Producer? Go on, take a guess. Give up? MICHAEL BAY. Yeah, Mr. Let's Sacrifice Plot Development so we Can Have Big Explosions and Improbable Action. This is the guy that RUINED the X-Men franchise for me, because he changed the whole tone of the series, making it more about action and less about the social issues, which is the heart of the X-Men series. Just because it's a comic book doesn't mean you can gloss over what Stan Lee actually wanted to say with the series. GOD.

And now I'm terrified. It's bad enough that Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby is being remade (yeah, by Mr. Bay again as Exec Producer), but why do you have to mess with Hitchcock? Isn't he the great standard many filmmakers aspire towards? Why would you mess with perfection? CGI does not, in fact, make everything better and more realistic.

I am making a big deal over this now, because I just recently watched The Birds, and loved it. Hitchcock dealt in times where visual effects were pretty nonexistent. He had to be inventive with camera angles and real bird wrangling and puppetry and use of the generally newish green screen technology. The part that made me believe that thousands of birds were attacking a small coastal community was the incredibly impressive acting as well as the suspense Mr. Hitchcock was so wonderful at producing with his cinematography and editing. I was on the edge of my seat worrying about these people (I admit, I'd never seen it before, and purposefully never spoiled myself so I'd be surprised). That's a good movie.

Michael Bay does not deal in movies of this sort. He goes for crazy action and cheesy scripts. I'm concerned. And, who the hell is going to be the leading lady in this movie? If it's Lindsey Lohan, I quit. The reason that I wanted to see The Birds is because I read a favorable review of The Happening once, which compare it to The Birds. After watching Hitchcock's movie, I concluded that the reviewer hadn't actually seen The Birds. The beauty of Hitchcock is he doesn't explicitly show violence happen, thereby creating a certain tension with an individual and heightening imagination. He's also SO VERY GOOD at dragging suspense out, and torturing his audience. By not showing anything graphically(or very little), Hitchcock allowed audiences to work for it more, thereby getting more involved in the story and the characters. For me, The Happening did the exact opposite, which I've already ranted about previously.

This should be a lesson to filmmakers, since I feel like I'm in a position to give filmmakers advice, of course. Just because you can do it does not mean you should do it. CGI should be used to enhance plot points, not replace them. I feel like that's where lots of people go wrong, and get too excited about showing ridiculous special effects. It's one thing if the movie is merely meant to be fun and a mindless adrenaline rush (like Wanted), but The Birds has already been done well, and I just don't think it's a movie that's worth redoing, especially since I doubt it'll be more interesting than the original.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe these remakes will rock. I just wish Hollywood would go back to being original and interesting. I miss that.