Dear Comcast, Frak You

"There is literally no one in the world that I don't hate right now."-Toby Ziegler, The West Wing

Excuse me while I put my bitch pants on, because today has been a hell of a day.

Ahem, okay. Today was supposed to be a busy, but relatively simple day. When I woke up in the morning, I was supposed to clean the coffee pot, make and drink some coffee, get cat food, and if I had time before noon, go to the gym. In the afternoon, I needed to wait for Comcast to return their DVR and modem, so I'll be finally done with them. Hopefully that would only take a couple of hours and then I could come back, make my strata and have a nice afternoon/evening cooking & cleaning my room.

Well, that was the plan. The actual day became far more complex.

The day started with my snoozing the alarm about fifteen times. Okay, so I didn't get up as early as I wanted. That's okay. I may not make it to the gym in the morning, but I can just go after Comcast guy shows up. It's okay. Time to go to Petsmart.

Next I took the 151 to Sheridan & Surf, and got some Oral Hygiene pet food, kitty litter & jumbo liners. Without paying any kind of attention, I got onto the 36 and headed home, with what turned out to be only one bag. Once I got back to my apartment, I realized I left the food at Petsmart. The only thing that I really needed. Well, I guess it's time to go back to Petsmart and pick the bag up. I get a cab and am out $11. Not happy.

I'm a little angry at this point, but the day can still be salvaged. I've got enough time to play around on the internet and then go get some coffee and breakfast. I decide to try out Phoebe's Cupcakes, since they've got this really interesting breakfast cupcake, reminiscent of pancakes with a bacon side. I got that and some coffee and headed over to the apartment. The cupcake was a little too sweet (certainly for a person who just got a filling) but otherwise delicious. I managed to ignore the fact that it felt like glass shards were digging into my gum. The day was looking up.

Clean clean clean. By that I mean, gathering some left over things and shoving them into bags. Also, throwing other things away. Mostly I do it lazy-like and play around on my phone. No biggie. I almost enjoy waiting for the Comcast guy.

Three hours later, I start to worry. Okay, so the guy may come closer to five. Fine. That's inconvenient, but whatever. I start looking out of the window for signs of a Comcast truck and I start to have difficulty getting comfortable.

At 4:30, I'm completely pissed off. And my phone dies, since it's my only distraction from the long wait. I go downstairs to wait some more. No excuses. I WILL CATCH THE COMCAST GUY.

5:00. I do believe I've been stood up. At this point, I'm so incredibly angry and my gum is killing me from where the dentist had to CUT PART OF IT AWAY to get to a particularly nasty cavity. I'm also starving. Did I mention that I was mad?

At this point, I no longer want to go to the gym and am way too hungry yet don't want to eat because my gum is now excruciatingly painful.

"Flames...on the side of my face...breathing, breathless, heaving breaths...heaving..."-Mrs. White, Clue

I'm going to wash my pans and cook myself something nice and soft, like eggs, and watch some True Blood. I'm not going to bitch at Comcast yet, since I KNOW they're going to tell me that a technician showed up at, like, 12:3o, but didn't call me for some bizarre reason. He also knocked on the outer door and saw that nobody was in the lobby, so instead of calling my apartment from the box, he just decided that nobody was home. I know nobody called. I HAD MY PHONE AT ALL TIMES. But this has actually happened before, so I am going to take a break today, and just call them tomorrow. I don't need that kind of anger right now. They are totally making me suffer for discontinuing their service. I know they are. I can tell. Spiteful bastards. I thought their guilt trips when I discontinued over the phone would be the extent of it. Apparently not.

Floor exercises instead of the gym and bacon & eggs instead of a proper dinner. That's okay. It's almost the gym. It's okay.

Deep breaths, calm thoughts. It will all be okay.