Friday, July 10, 2009

Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream Also Heals Compound Fractures and Cures Malaria

I have been very seriously thinking about purchasing a domain name and making myself an actual web page for this blog.

Brain: That's one of the dumbest things that I've ever heard.

Ahem, I've thought about it for a while, and this template is pretty lame, and I kind of hate the url. I could maybe try to figure out how to design it, or I could find someone to do it for me. I just kind of want to have a real webpage with a real blog which, you know, looks nice

Brain: So what you're telling me is that you're an elitist. A webpage elitist.

Uh, I was looking at urls and cristinamartin.com was taken. If only I actually did something interesting or had a nickname or fun title.

Brain: You have a nickname. Several, in fact.

http://www.stin.com/ isn't very compelling. Uh, maybe if I could think of some sort of pun?

Brain: ...

Hey, how 'bout that new apartment, huh? I should make that asparagus strata tonight. If I don't want to curl up and die after the dentist today. Why did I have to develop this random canker sore like a day before my dentist appointment? What is she going to think about me?

Brain: DUDE, WHY ARE YOU TELLING THEM THIS?

I don't have herpes. But I have a family history of canker sores. It's common in women. Stop looking at me like that. It is! Plus it's really really rare for me to get one these days. I can't remember the last time I did. Of course, my lips decide to flare up just in time to see someone paid to EXAMINE MY MOUTH.

Brain: You know, you could have something terribly wrong with you. Like Celiac disease.

I have Celiac disease. Crap. Now I have to eliminate the gluten from my diet. I like gluten. Bah. I just wish this weren't so painful and gross. I want my dentist to keep thinking good things about me. And now she'll be all poking around in my mouth trying to be professional but totally staring at a horrible ulcer that may or may not remind her of an STD.

Brain: It's not like you were trying to pick her up. I'm sure she's seen much worse. I doubt she'll think you have herpes.

STOMACH: YOU KNOW WHAT WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM? 4 HALF-GALLONS OF BLUE BELL HOMEMADE VANILLA ICE CREAM. IT IS SO WORTH $119.

Huh, I'm suddenly kind of hungry. And in desperate need of a cold, creamy, and refreshing dessert.

Brain: I could lecture you on how you're supposed to be saving money now, but I don't think I'm going to win this one. Plus, I think we all want Blue Bell here. Just go back to reading www.pamie.com. I don't think you will ever be her, if that's what this whole thing has been about.

Now wouldn't that be much more interesting in a proper webpage? If any of you have fun domain name ideas or just want to tell me how ridiculous I am, please leave a comment.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. STIN.COM
2. I would, in all seriousness, pitch in to buy that ice cream and have an ice cream party on your roof, IF AND ONLY IF we also buy this:

http://www.graeters.com/

because, um, holy shit, i've never had this Blue Bell stuff that you speak of, but OH MY GOD GRAETERS. I've only had it once. And i MUST HAVE MORE RIGHT NOW. And I don't even like ice cream! That stuff is $80 for 6 pints. So that is my proposal.
3. That is a shitload of ice cream.
4. the word verification thing that they're making me type in order to post this? "insest." wtf, blogger?

Laura

Cristina said...

In one word: Okay. Let's do it. And yeah, the word verification is often, um, strange. Mine is "fingen." I don't even want to think about what that could mean.