Okay, so I just had a very interesting interaction at the bus stop on my way back from work. Here it is in its entirety. Italics represent my thoughts, but you could've probably figured that out for yourself. Behold how my foot sinks further and further into my mouth!
La la la. Waiting for the bus stop. Oh, that's a person I recognize. She was in my graduating class. Oh crap, what was her name? Is she one of those people who will make a point to not acknowledge me, because we both went to the U of C, or really friendly because of it? Oh god, don't look, don't look. Pretend you're looking at the street for the bus. You're not creepily observant, no siree. Oh shoot, she's coming up to me. Waving! She's waving now. What'shernamewhat'shernamewhat'shername? She's here. Quick, pretend you didn't see her until this very moment!
Me: Hi! How's it going?
Classmate I can't remember: Hi, do you remember me? We went to the University of Chicago together.
What'shernamewhat'shernamewhat'shername?
Me: Of course! How are you? I didn't see you. Liar.
Classmate I can't remember: Yeah, you're Cristina from San Antonio, right?
Crap.
Me: Um, yeah that's right...
I can't believe we don't remember her name. She was in that thing that we did before school started. She was nice. God, WHAT IS HER NAME? Why can you remember Buffy's middle name, and you're blanking on who this real person is? You're never going to be able to improvise, so you better fess up.
Me: Um, I'm really sorry, but I don't remember your...
Classmate I can't remember: Melissa.
Oh YEAH. We had that thing together.
[At this point in the narrative, the part of the Classmate I can't remember will be played by Melissa, whom I marginally remember.]
Me: Oh yeah we had uhm...
Melissa: HUM together.
Me: Right. HUM. YES! THAT'S RIGHT.
Oh, god, would you look at yourself? Why are you practically yelling at her? Overcompensate much? Oh yeah, keep gesticulating wildly, 'cause you don't look like a massive tool at all.
Me: So how are you?
You've said that like five times now, seriously. Is that my bus? Please let that be my bus.
Melissa: Good. So, are you still living in Chicago?
Me: Yeah, I work right there in that building.
Melissa: Which one?
Me: That one. The one I'm pointing at.
Okay, finally she's looking in the right place. Oh, I think she's still talking. I can't hear her. God, what if she's asking me something? Oh, she's done now. SMILE AND NOD. SMILE AND NOD.
Melissa: You went to the reunion thing a few months ago, right?
Me: Yeah, it was fun.
Melissa: Yeah, I saw you there. I wanted to say hi, but didn't get the chance to.
Me: Oh, yeah, it was crazy crowded.
Okay, now you've created an awkward silence. Quick be funny, or self-depricating, or clever. GOD, WHAT USE ARE YOU?
Melissa: Well, I have to go to the gym now. But I just wanted to say hi, because it was so nice to see a familiar face.
Me: Yes! So nice! It was really nice to see you too.
And she's walking off now. I think we just had a sitcom moment. A bad sitcom moment. You're kind of a dick. You know that, right? When's the damn bus getting here?
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3 comments:
HA it's just like that when I see people I hardly know.
Also, I share your difficulty in noticing people a full minute before they see me
HAAAA
its all true. and also she totally saw you when you saw her and was thinking... is she looking at me? does she recognize me?
also, who's melissa?
that is the question, isn't it? everything about the exchange was obvious and incredibly awkward. it's a shame, because she was really nice, and I actually did know who she was. Kinda.
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