Maybe I'm a Wizard After All!

Not witch. Wizard. According to The Dresden Files books, female magic practicioners are still "wizards." I think "witches" and "warlocks" are evil in that universe. Have I mentioned that I'm completely addicted to this series? It's not even that good, but I just can't get enough of it. For those of you unfamilar, The Dresden Files is a series with a wizard protagonist named Harry Dresden. He's kind of a grown-up Harry Potter with even more frightening parental issues. This series takes place in Chicago (woo!) and is kind of a cross between a supernatural thriller and a hard-boiled detective novel. It hits three of my buttons as once! Now can you see why I like it so much?

I'm already at Book #6, Blood Rites. It's awesome. What I like about this world is the fairly unique point of view it takes on Harry's magic, which is both recognizable from previous fiction and also fits into this world all on its own. Also, I TOTALLY KNEW that Chicago was a hotbed for supernatural activity. Everything happens here! For example, did you know that there is a whole supernatural world under Chicago called Undertown? Undertown is filled with nasty creatures that terrify even normal magical users. Under Chicago. Both main 'Courts' of Vampires in this Universe, Red and White, seem to have their headquarters (or significant holdings) in Chicago. The White Council of Wizards convenes in Chicago. Also, an enormous battle between the Summer and Winter Courts of the faeries (much more terrifying than they sound) took place in the skies above Lake Michigan. And the first mention of the University of Chicago was exciting, because apparently a gang of nerdy students became vigilante werewolves calling themselves the 'Alphas.'

So, it's fun. The author, Jim Butcher, isn't actually from Chicago, and apparently didn't even visit until after writing book #8. So he gets some things, um, wrong. The link above addresses some of the more problematic ones, like the fact that he thinks that the U of C is in Lincoln Park. Which, um, yeah. At least he described the students as more nerdy types rather than State School jocks, which is what the TV show did. The inconsistencies don't bother me too much. Strange, because normally they do. I guess I can overlook it when I'm having fun.

So why am I a wizard, again? According to The Dresden Files, technology keeps breaking down around wizards, because of the magical mojo that's constantly in the air around them. And that's been happening to me these past couple of weeks.

My wireless router accidentally got reset when I bought a replacement charger due to cat damage. That means that I can automatically connect to my wireless network, but can't actually go online for some reason. I've had to steal wireless from neighbors, and as a result, it's really really slow. I finally got fed up earlier in the week, and had to call Linksys to try to figure this situation out. My first technician told me that I needed two different ethernet cables, and I only had one. So I went out and bought another one immediately, because OMIGOD THIS PROBLEM NEEDED TO BE SOLVED. I went to the corner Radio Shack and got the cheapest ethernet cord I could find, and hurried back to get another technician. I tried calling again, and got immediately disconnected when technican #2 answered. My little eye started twitching at this point and I started yelling at the cats when they got in my way. It was getting bad.

Third time, right guys? Third time should do it! Well, at least I got a technician on the line. I explained my issue and even let him take control of my computer. I don't do that for just anyone, you know. To do this, I had to unplug my computer from its charger and plug it directly into the modem, since my router was having personal (and professional, if you ask me) problems. I was sitting on the floor, shoving nosy cats away, resetting my router and modem and restarting my computer time and time again. The dude wasn't helping.

Oh, and I forgot! I gave him my phone number in case we got disconnected, so that he could call me back. He was the one that asked for it, so I assume this has happened before. Anyway, now my network has lost my name and is "unsecured" BUT I STILL CAN'T CONNECT TO IT. It's just sitting there. Taunting me. Look at all my bars, Cristina. Don't you want optimum connectivity? YEAH, ROUTER. YEAH I DO. STOP BEING SUCH A DAMN TEASE.

I was so frustrated, and the only thing the technician could offer was to try to reset the router again. This time holding the button down for 10 seconds instead of 20. Blarg. At least it did something, even if I still can't connect. And then, after nearly 45 minutes on the phone with this dude, my crappy cell phone um, well, crapped out. I lost the connection. AND MY ROUTER WAS EVEN WORSE. But this is okay, right? I gave the guy my number. He was the one that asked for it! He'll call back, right? Right?

Yeah, he didn't. Figures. And I was so angry and so upset and so hungry at this point, that I gave up and made myself some tilapia. I just figured that I would plug my computer back in and keep using that weak unsecured signal. Except now, my computer doesn't recognize my charger, and can't charge! I don't even know how this happens, but it's not uncommon. For some reason, when I unplug my computer and try to plug it back in, it doesn't realize that it's plugged into the same charger, and freaks out on me. So right now, my computer is sitting at home, plugged in but not charging, with 58% of its battery left. Eventually, I'll have to do some sort of elaborate rain dance where I unplug it, change the battery settings, restart the computer, reset the power strip and try plugging it in again. That usually works, at least on the third try. But right now I'm too worn out from this to care. AND, Linksys just sent me a "Customer Satisfaction Survey" for my technical assistance. I think I'm going to tell them that the technician completely broke my router. I like my petty victories.

Also, my expensive headphones no longer play sound out of the left earbud. It makes working out kind of weird. And will probably cause my brain to implode or something. I don't know.

The answer is that I'm clearly a wizard. I have to be, right? Right?

[ETA: I just remembered another recent technology mishap. I bought a new album on iTunes and wanted to put it on my iPod, but due to a strange mishap involving updating iTunes and settings getting mixed up, when I plugged my iPod into my computer, it got erased and written over with random albums. BUT STRANGELY, some of the music already on the iPod (and some of the random transferred stuff) got transferred back to my computer, erasing the rest of the music that was already there. And now my iPod is a strange mix of all the music left on my computer, which is a strange mix. I lost 75% of my music, and most of the stuff that I listen to regularly. I'm left with the Wicked and BSG soundtracks, and, like, Sufjan. I have not been having a good time recently.

Big Day, Yo

I voted, okay? However, this blog entry is not going to be about any of that. Yes, I know that today is exciting and nerve-wracking. I look forward to watching every hour of coverage tonight. I don't even want to get into this crazy dream/nightmare I had last weekend about how McCain won the election and nobody really cared.

I won't talk about that stuff now, because I need to talk about something else. This is a subject that bothered me for a while, and I am reminded of it more due to constant exposure during these times. I am referring, of course, to my love-hate relationship with the internet.

What I hate:

First of all, Internet, what's the deal with letting any kind of yahoo (see what I did there?) with a dial-up connection say whatever they want? Blah, blah First Amendment, blah. I know. But, at the very least, I'd like to see a basic spelling and grammar test before a person is able to post a comment to a blog or other public forum. This should take care of most trolls and spammers, since as a rule they seem incapable of stringing together even the most basic words into cogent arguments. And it'll make the rest of us try just a little bit harder to get our points across. Note: "Hi Freidlon7 sound like you doesn't like America.I know alot Western Europe jealouse with USA,without USA Europe is nothing . USA always help Europe in World War I & II.Sweden neutral because they are weak.Don't worry abaut my husband country just take care your own dame country because I know your country alot crime and terorist too." [big ole sic] This is not an argument. Please learn how to spellcheck, and maybe I'll listen to your opinions. Maybe.

Secondly, going off of this point, we need to eliminate anonymous comments. Nobody would ever say anything like that to a person's face, particularly a person who is better spoken with a tight grasp on actual, um, facts. The anonymity of the internet creates jerks, and sometimes I just can't handle it.

Thirdly, for the benefit of internet land, speaking in all caps isn't funny. YOU ARE YELLING. That doesn't make your point better; it just makes you more obnoxious. All caps can be used sparingly to great effect, BUT JUST NOT AS A RULE. Ahem. Also, for everyone who types out their handles like, oh, say **~~>HoTtIePrInCeSs2008<~~**: what the hell am I supposed to do with that? If all caps is yelling, I don't even know what's going on there. It is not cute. You are not instantly adorable. I have an instant appraisal of your IQ, though, however fair or unfair that may be. And enough with the ASCII art. When done well, it's cool, and on occasion funny; when done poorly, it's annoying.

Fourthly, Shock Sites. Good god, shock sites. Anyone can get to them. I won't mention any by name, but one prominent one rhymes with "flew pearls done sup." Just thinking about it squicks me out. The internet reminds me constantly that some people just ain't right.

I'm sure there are more reasons that I will inevitably remember after posting this.

But I like the Internet too!

Here, take some reasons:

1. The very idea of message boards and fan sites makes me unbelievably happy. Seeing people who share your interests from all around the world is a pretty amazing thing. I never actually post on any of these things, but I usually like to check them out to see what people are arguing about this time. Bonus points if they're well-written.

2. Internet memes are actually pretty funny for a little while. LOLCats and the like can be cute and entertaining. Sometimes people can be remarkably clever when they're not being weird and gross.

3. Dr. Horrible. That is all. (Sometimes I just find reasons to link to it)

4. I suppose the instant access to news about what's going on in the world is pretty awesome. Terrifying in some respects, but awesome.

Oh and other stuff I suppose. I got tired halfway through writing about the negatives, so I'm just not feeling this anymore. I'm sorry. The dark side of the internet has weakened me. Hey, it's gotta be doing something right, though, to be weaning me off of watching TV. I didn't turn my TV on much at all over the weekend. It felt good.

So, um, yeah. Go vote if you haven't already.

That's all.