Utensils Down, Hands Up!

Y'all totally know that I'm just dying to say that at dinner one of these days.

But, oh my life is richer in innumerable ways because of Top Chef. And this season is certainly, uh, interesting. I mean, I see the talent there (Shut up you! I can couch-judge if I want to.), and of course, Chicago is a great city for this show to be in. They're also doing a pretty good job showing the stereotypically well-known sides of Chicago, and I gotta admit, I would've gone to that Bears game if I knew that the Top Chef contestants would be there. You think I'm joking?

Okay, but lots of these cheftestants are kinda starting to grate on me. Even Jen last episode had me rolling my eyes and making snarky asides (to the cats, of course), and I was all for the lesbians! Seriously, in that one talking head moment, when she was talking about her great love Zoi and how hard this is now, and how angry and sad she is, and how Spike should probably be dead now, she was totally CRYING. I mean, CRYING. Zoi's not dead! I really don't think that's what happens to cheftestants that have to pack their knives and go. Although, that would be a fun twist. Oh Jen, Zoi's just not as good at surviving in that environment as you are. You don't need to remind us that she's the love of your life, and all that stuff WHILE CRYING. Come on. I know you'll miss her, but sack up! I'm glad and all that you won that Quick Fire, but dedicating the tailgating dish to Zoi's Greek roots was a little much. Shouldn't you have like the ultimate bragging rights with her now? You made it further than she did in one of the hardest cooking competitions on TV. Make the competition fun for you! WHICH MEANS STOP WHINING ABOUT HER. YOU WILL SEE HER SOON ENOUGH. GOD. Okay, rant over now.

But, yeah, Spike is kind of a jerk. And by kind of, I mean I want to kick him in his rat face. Wow, I'm a little saucy today. I think I'll roll with it for the rest of the day. These cheftestants seem much less, uh, diplomatic than last season's bunch. Last season, we only really had Howie and Joey to deal with, while now we have Dale, Lisa, Spike, Andrew, and to a lesser extent Antonia. Wow. They may cook better(well, that's what Bravo keeps cramming down our throats), but damn are they immature, the multitude of cussing aside. The explosion last week in the Stew Room may have been good TV, but it was crotch-grabbing, chair-kicking, drunken-slurring drama. And, that's a little too much for me to handle. Even in high school.

But, hell, I still enjoy it. The challenges may be a bit more gimmicky than previous seasons', but this last challenge (including the beer pairing Quickfire) was straight-cooking. And I liked it more than challenges in the past. [Edit: What I meant was cooking with no frills or frippery attached--just plain ole "which food tastes best." I did not mean to imply anything about sexual orientation or heterosexual cooking habits. I'm an Equal Opportunity viewer--and didn't I just mention how I was all about the lesbians? But, yeah, I guess this was a particularly straight challenge, now that you mention it, Rhetorical Critic.]

Also, I just discovered this website: Amuse-Biatch. It's like if Go Fug Yourself and Project Rungay realized they were madly in love, had a secret love-child, and reared it on nothing but Top Chef. The site isn't really as detailed as I would normally like, but it's got appropriate snark and research about all the people involved in the show. It's made with love.

This has been a very Top Chefy post. I really didn't mean for it to be--I had other things to talk about. I guess all that Jennifer drama made me forget what else I wanted to mention. Huh. Eh, it must not have been as important as railing against dramatic chefs on the TV.

Happy Thursday!